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Thread: Cyborg romance

  1. #1
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Cyborg romance

    This is rather interesting. I got rid of my cell phone back in 2014. About 4 years to this very day. Since I carry no gadget I am not a cyborg -- one of the very few people who is still just a person.

    While I have dated quite a bit since then it is only in the past month that women have outright turned me down because I don't have a mobile phone and said as much. And it has happened twice.

    Previously women have expressed concern over it and it likely factored in when rejecting me. But usually once I explained why I don't have one, they were more or less okay with it.

    The main thing was explaining that I am not cheating on a secret wife or something like that.

    But now I am actively being turned down for being pure human.

    The sci-fi nerd in me thinks this will likely get worse and having no "communications" gadget attached to one of my limbs at all times will be a more frequent primary reason for women to reject me.

    And in the future, when our gadgets are implanted in our bodies, making us certainly cyborgs proper, pure humans (if any are left) will be even more often rejected in romantic contexts.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    The place I work has a new emergency alert system. As part of the system, after the initial alert warning, they will be batch texting teachers with updates. The current discussion is what to do about me. I told them that my flip phone can get texts, but only shows about nine words at a time, so I have to scroll down. I assume that the updates will be fairly short and focused, so I dont feel like it is a problem, although texting back is a problem (each letter requires pressing a number key the correct speed and number of times and then pausing about half a second before the next letter).

    they do need to test and make sure the batch text comes through as a regular text, because sometimes when people text me, I get rows of squares. Also, I will not get the text if it includes a picture.

    and I will now have to remember to bring the phone with me to school and in from the car. I didnt tell them that sometimes I misplace it for days at a time.

    we have one procedure that involves texting the office and when it was explained at the staff meeting, my boss said [cl] just send a kid with a note. They can get there and back faster.

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    Just get a free Google Voice number and link it to an email address. Then you can text from your computer. Not so practical in an emergency (unless you're already at your computer) but perfectly useful for planning dates.

    It's not for your lack of a cellphone that you are being rejected. It's for your rigidity, your refusal to heed the memo about "when in Rome." Get another phone and enjoy going on some dates. It's really that easy.

    I didn't own a cellphone till I was 46. I didn't own a fully functional smartphone till I was past 50. Held out as long as I could. Finally gave in and guess what. It's not so bad. I don't carry it much, but I use it at home every day and am glad to have it.

    I'm also glad to be dating a smart, beautiful, creative, and very authentic millennial who's quite different from me in many ways besides age. It's all good, and my foolish, ignorant, and egotistical rigidity is melting away slowly with each text I send.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oddball View Post
    Just get a free Google Voice number and link it to an email address. Then you can text from your computer. Not so practical in an emergency (unless you're already at your computer) but perfectly useful for planning dates.

    It's not for your lack of a cellphone that you are being rejected. It's for your rigidity, your refusal to heed the memo about "when in Rome." Get another phone and enjoy going on some dates. It's really that easy.

    I didn't own a cellphone till I was 46. I didn't own a fully functional smartphone till I was past 50. Held out as long as I could. Finally gave in and guess what. It's not so bad. I don't carry it much, but I use it at home every day and am glad to have it.

    I'm also glad to be dating a smart, beautiful, creative, and very authentic millennial who's quite different from me in many ways besides age. It's all good, and my foolish, ignorant, and egotistical rigidity is melting away slowly with each text I send.

    Oddball, you're not so odd after all!

    1. If I got a google voice thing, that does not mean I have a cell phone. This does not mean I am in immediate reach of someone at any time. Or are you suggesting that I lead them to believe I have a cell phone when I really don't? I would not do this. Unethical.

    2. "When in Rome" is an appeal to the crowd. There are lots of things the crowd does that I want no part in. What the heck kind of an "oddball" suggests going along with the crowd?! Maybe change your name to Normball! Or maybe Cyball?

    3. I had a cell phone from about 2008 to 2014. I had a couple iPhones. For me, I enjoy my life more without a cell phone.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    You would not have to lie about not having a cellphone. Just share your number and say you'll text when you get a chance.

    Google Voice gives you a cell number to call or text with, unlike a land line. It's a happy medium that would allow you not to need a gizmo in your pocket while still having the ability to do things that a cellphone can do, albeit from the confines of your desk. If you want full mobility, to be in immediate reach of someone at any time, you'll just have to get a cellphone.

    "When in Rome" is not an appeal to anything. It's just a fundamental rule for getting along in the world as a human being. For someone who wants to be fully, purely human (i.e., not a cyborg), you seem to have an illogical and self-defeating determination to separate yourself from certain customs of modern humanity that could actually benefit you.

    I understand. I've been there and tried that. I works up to a point, but you seem not to have found that point. I'm still figuring it out too, though getting closer. What I know so far is that we don't have to go along with mindless crowd behavior (consumerism) in order to enjoy the benefits of being part of the crowd, which we all are, like it or not.

    Finding such a balance first requires waking up to what being fully human involves. It involves some degree of assimilation. It involves shedding your ego noise -- such as principles, beliefs, and other mental balls and chains -- and realizing that if you want certain things in your life -- such as love and community and connection and a free exchange of ideas -- you will need to accede to being fully human and to allowing other humans to be human in the ways that work for them.

    It's fine if you enjoy life more without a cellphone or, for that matter, with no more than 100 or so possessions. Actually, so do I. Just realize that you'll also need to accept the compromise. Don't make the trade-off on principle. Make it honestly and with humility and then don't complain about or be surprised by others' aversion to your decision. Don't drain your pool while wishing you were in a deeper one or be resentful toward others you see as swimming in shallower waters.


  6. #6
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Maybe ten years ago, I was president of a service club. Most of the members worked at the company which hosted the organization but there were some retirees and "associates" (family members of employees) in the club. As is the case with most clubs, it was an all-volunteer effort, and most of us on the board already had full-time jobs. Meeting notices, minutes, and notices of special service opportunities were sent out to club members via email as they happened.

    A few of the retirees complained that they were not hearing about things like meeting date/venue changes or last-minute service opportunities until it was too late to respond because they didn't have -- or want -- email. It fell to me to explain that one of us job-holders clicking Send after writing an email notified 25 people in the club immediately but that the other five each needed a phone call or a note -- and that one of those actions was always going to happen faster than the other. "But we don't have computers. That's not a condition of being a club member!" "True, it isn't. But there is the library. Or someone else's computer. The membership rules don't say you have to have a phone, either, and yet how quickly would you hear of anything if you didn't have a phone?" It was 2010; email was not just for the nerds.

    My point? Don't carry a mobile phone if you don't want to. But in today's middle-class American society, don't expect that decision to just be accepted without judgement and to suffer no repercussions for your choice. You don't need to tote around a $1000 iPhone or Galaxy; if all you want is the ability to call (or maybe text, people today like that), a cheap (even used) smartphone will do. You don't need to live on your phone like some people do. But if you opt for what you derisively call "full humanity" because you don't carry a mobile phone (please tell me you do not refer to potential lady friends with mobile phones as not fully human) you'll find yourself judged for it, and likely not positively.

    As with so many lifestyle choices you make, UL, you seem to consciously separate yourself from the wide population you seem to seek. That's fine if you're willing to pay the price. But you don't often seem willing to do that either. Personally I find that a bit baffling. But I also know that someday the pain of being separate will be greater than the pain of compromise; then things likely will change.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  7. #7
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oddball View Post
    You would not have to lie about not having a cellphone. Just share your number and say you'll text when you get a chance.

    Google Voice gives you a cell number to call or text with, unlike a land line. It's a happy medium that would allow you not to need a gizmo in your pocket while still having the ability to do things that a cellphone can do, albeit from the confines of your desk. If you want full mobility, to be in immediate reach of someone at any time, you'll just have to get a cellphone.

    "When in Rome" is not an appeal to anything. It's just a fundamental rule for getting along in the world as a human being. For someone who wants to be fully, purely human (i.e., not a cyborg), you seem to have an illogical and self-defeating determination to separate yourself from certain customs of modern humanity that could actually benefit you.

    I understand. I've been there and tried that. I works up to a point, but you seem not to have found that point. I'm still figuring it out too, though getting closer. What I know so far is that we don't have to go along with mindless crowd behavior (consumerism) in order to enjoy the benefits of being part of the crowd, which we all are, like it or not.

    Finding such a balance first requires waking up to what being fully human involves. It involves some degree of assimilation. It involves shedding your ego noise -- such as principles, beliefs, and other mental balls and chains -- and realizing that if you want certain things in your life -- such as love and community and connection and a free exchange of ideas -- you will need to accede to being fully human and to allowing other humans to be human in the ways that work for them.

    It's fine if you enjoy life more without a cellphone or, for that matter, with no more than 100 or so possessions. Actually, so do I. Just realize that you'll also need to accept the compromise. Don't make the trade-off on principle. Make it honestly and with humility and then don't complain about or be surprised by others' aversion to your decision. Don't drain your pool while wishing you were in a deeper one or be resentful toward others you see as swimming in shallower waters.

    Posting the video of David is an appeal to authority.

    I profoundly dislike cell phones.

    Are you saying to be fully human one must become a cyborg? Uh... oooookay, makes sense.

    I am not resentful of the shallow swimmers. Those normies are happy. Good on them. Salt of the earth.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  8. #8
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    I think my problem is not so much my "rigid" personality or my lack of cell phone.

    My problem is centered more on these things:

    -My "type" physically is very different than my "type" intellectually.

    -My overall lifestyle is unconventional and in a state like Ohio, which is full of normies, it is hard to find a match.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  9. #9
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteveinMN View Post

    As with so many lifestyle choices you make, UL, you seem to consciously separate yourself from the wide population you seem to seek. That's fine if you're willing to pay the price. But you don't often seem willing to do that either. Personally I find that a bit baffling. But I also know that someday the pain of being separate will be greater than the pain of compromise; then things likely will change.
    Ah yes, the old "the weight of the world will eventually crush your spirit just like it did mine" speech. I remember getting a similar one about Christianity when I was a kid.

    What makes you think I am seeking the wide population?
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  10. #10
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteveinMN View Post

    My point? Don't carry a mobile phone if you don't want to. But in today's middle-class American society, don't expect that decision to just be accepted without judgement and to suffer no repercussions for your choice.
    I don't expect it to be accepted. I actually fully expect there to come a time when my job encroaches so much on my life that they force me to get a cell phone and force me to pay for it out of my own pocket. At that point, I will get the phone because I need the job.

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveinMN View Post
    But if you opt for what you derisively call "full humanity" because you don't carry a mobile phone (please tell me you do not refer to potential lady friends with mobile phones as not fully human) you'll find yourself judged for it, and likely not positively.
    I don't go around calling my dates "cyborgs." lol
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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