Given that I (mostly) interact overall with those of different skin tones than mine as I go through life, your statement here is confusing. Whatever, life goes on in the 85006 as it does everywhere else, too. RobOriginally Posted by bae
Given that I (mostly) interact overall with those of different skin tones than mine as I go through life, your statement here is confusing. Whatever, life goes on in the 85006 as it does everywhere else, too. Rob
Wow, Rob actually agreeing with something I posted. Dang!
Frankly, I prefer to work with men than women. I am very direct with a potty mouth and I’m also very sarcastic. The women frequently seem to play games and I hate that. The men say something stupid and I can call them out on it without any “woe is me” victim crap.
Even if Trump's words here were as you say aimed directly as his "fascist nationalist misogynist" supporters - I still agree with his words this one time, on this one issue, anyway. And I'm light years away from being a Trump supporter as I'm sure all who read this forum gather by now and have long since gathered. But in my book he's right here and I'm able to grant him some kind words as he - on this one issue - has earned them as far as I am concerned. Now about all other isssues……….but that's for many other threads and not this one. Rob
At my work, since we are in a basement, we often take walks outside -- to get coffee or discuss a work related issue or idea. I have had female colleagues come to me and ask to go on a walk to talk about work ideas one-on-one. I am hesitant to do so, not because I think they would falsely accuse me but because I worry that someone else in the building (like on floors 1-3) might see me with a female colleague and then spread a rumor or someone might get the wrong idea.
Female colleagues have suggested I ask other female colleagues (ones in different departments) out on dates. I tell them I would never date anyone from work, ever. Too risky. I say: "Don't get your honey where you make your money!"
My experience has been the opposite of Tradd's. I have seen a lot of inappropriate behavior and nothing done about it. Some examples, all boss to subordinate:
"I want you to wear a dress on moving day and I'm going to stand next to you."
Tried to take a photo down her shirt.
Employee 1 says her computer monitor is jiggling post-move. Boss asks Employee 2 "Are you jiggling?" She says, "Mine isn't." Boss looks at her with a leer and says, "I'm not talking about your monitor."
"You're hot."
"It says on the bathroom wall you're easy."
In the Yankee swap " Pull six for the sex toy."
Came up behind her and started pushing her while she was sitting in her wheeled chair around the office.
Referred to another employee as "the little girl with the big ass".
CEO kissed young female in front of everyone.
Older unattractive women were pushed out to make room for eye candy. HR was run by a former airline stewardess. So glad I am at a different job now. Though it has its own issues with bigoted behavior I am personally in a better place.
A black woman I know thinks that straight white women are the most privileged members of American society. She says that supporters of Dr. Ford think that white women should be "automatically believed" when they accuse a man of sexual assault. She also thinks this is dangerous and likens it to an era when black men would be accused of things by white women. And you know how that often ended for black men.
You documented all this, you went all the way up the line and reported this to everyone's superiors, and you went to an employment trial lawyer too and absolutely nothing was done! Man, that is crazy!
The expression has more of a derivation from privilege, colonialist oppression and patriarchy. And not-so-much skin color...
funny I talk to men and women in the office for precisely that reason, because I learned by being bullied out of a job it is best to pretend to be everyone's friend, least likely of being a target of bullying that way (some of the reason I kind of avoided some people at the last job is I picked up threat signals from them. My instincts turned out to be right there, but avoidance wasn't the right approach to that danger).On the one large gun forum I’ve been a member of since 2011, there are a large number of guys who say they will not talk to women in the office unless it is directly related to work and even then they keep it to a minimum. Much prefer email, which allows them to have a record of communications.
So I suppose this is how it is now:
ANM making sure to socialize with everyone so she doesn't lose her job: [some pointless small talk]
hypothetical man in the office scared of accusation making sure not to socialize so as not to lose his job: [doesn't answer]
Almost nothing is I do at the office at this point has any other motive but keeping my job (well sometimes I just have time to kill, but I prefer to quietly read the news in that case mostly - I'm an introvert's introvert when you get down to it, but I can pretend otherwise). So if I socialize there, yea that too is ultimately about keeping my job. They think they are denying us their precious socializing (I suppose they also imagine we want their sex - with how delusional men can be), but we're too just playing the survival game of keeping our jobs - aka what really matters = an income.
Trees don't grow on money
UL, I think you mom was right on.
i was taught to avoid the appearance of impropriety.
that said, I did a lot of things that looked improper. I think you base your behavior on respect and trust and err on the side of caution.
When dd was 14, her best friend was a 16 y.o. boy. She was forbidden to go in his house if his parents were not home. We stressed that our concern was for both of them (avoid the appearance...) one day he ran an extension cord out the window, set the tv up on the front lawn, and they had dinner and a movie. Dd said people honked at them. I told her one day it would be a great memory and she still laughs about it now.
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