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Thread: Major identity changes?

  1. #21
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    I would have needed to work even without kids. I would have had more money no doubt without them but I always wanted them. They are a important part of my life but so are other things.

  2. #22
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    It seems like a lot of folks work a job just to fund their kids. So for those whose kids are their main source of identity most people are just working to fund their primary source of meaning in life.
    I don't believe that our identity is as immutable as our gravestone. I believe we're more like books--chapters maybe. Or seasons.

    I worked not to "fund" my children, but to provide all of their needs to the best of my ability (and no doubt I have failed in some areas). Money had to play a part in that. That part of my life is done now. But maybe I'm still dragging behind me the theme of my last chapter. (thanks for making me think about this).

    The people I admire most are those who feel confident enough to "reinvent" themselves. We should never put much stock in our personal identity, because it can be a trap and a prison.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  3. #23
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Interesting thread to read giving me food for thought.

    I don't think of my spouse or my kids giving me identity as dear and important as they are/were to me. They were an important part of a life that I chose and lived with gratitude for the love and joy they created.

    My job as a dental hygienist 50+ years ago was such a new field that it evolved slowly and gave me a role that generated income and satisfaction but not identity.

    What is one's identity? Online dictionary - the characteristics determining who or what a person or thing is.
    I think that we express our identity in how or the way that we approach being a parent, life partner, worker, play, etc. My identity is to be analytical, committed, joyful, grateful, optimistic, enthusiastic, emotional, spiritual, curious...

    So, as children entered my life, I responded to the challenges involved using the defined characteristics that continually develop and progress. With the passing of my DH, now my dog, and fully independent children, different challenges have arisen in how to structure my life without any strong daily commitment to another being. Actually it is really just another challenge to grow and progress.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  4. #24
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    I think that’s one reason pets are such good company for people once they are alone. It gives people someone to take care of and a being to love. Providing you want one of course. I never had a pet as a adult until 14 years ago so now I can add crazy dog lady to my resume)

  5. #25
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    I think my biggest identity change came was when I got divorced. Many beliefs and assumptions I'd heard about and held for years turned out to not be true. At that point, everything in my life -- location, career, religion/faith, values, friends, significant others, and more -- was up for examination. I have to say I'm happy with the results of that work. But it was a lot of work and, in some matters, it's not quite done yet.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  6. #26
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteveinMN View Post
    I think my biggest identity change came was when I got divorced. Many beliefs and assumptions I'd heard about and held for years turned out to not be true. At that point, everything in my life -- location, career, religion/faith, values, friends, significant others, and more -- was up for examination. I have to say I'm happy with the results of that work. But it was a lot of work and, in some matters, it's not quite done yet.
    Please share more about this.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  7. #27
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    I think my greatest identity change came when I was inducted into the Illuminati. After undergoing the painful and dangerous initiation rites and ordeals, I had my eyes opened to the Great Truth about the Universe and Man’s place in it. I gradually learned what a heavy burden of responsibility exercising true power could be. How difficult it sometimes is to keep the ignorant masses on the proper course to shape the golden arc of history. The absolute necessity of keeping the perpetual motion engine and the Secret Codicils of the Medici Testament out of the grasping hands of the Freemasons and the White Rose Faction. Preservation of the Pragmatic Sanction from one century to the next. Concealing the true purpose of kale until the elders determine the time is right. It is difficult and sometimes lonely, but it provides a sense of one’s essential identity that the mundanes will never know.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LDAHL View Post
    I think my greatest identity change came when I was inducted into the Illuminati. After undergoing the painful and dangerous initiation rites and ordeals, I had my eyes opened to the Great Truth about the Universe and Man’s place in it. I gradually learned what a heavy burden of responsibility exercising true power could be. How difficult it sometimes is to keep the ignorant masses on the proper course to shape the golden arc of history. The absolute necessity of keeping the perpetual motion engine and the Secret Codicils of the Medici Testament out of the grasping hands of the Freemasons and the White Rose Faction. Preservation of the Pragmatic Sanction from one century to the next. Concealing the true purpose of kale until the elders determine the time is right. It is difficult and sometimes lonely, but it provides a sense of one’s essential identity that the mundanes will never know.
    Okay, now we know LDAHL is actually Dan Brown.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  9. #29
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    What a burden you are carrying, Ldahl, poor soul!

    Quote Originally Posted by LDAHL View Post
    I think my greatest identity change came when I was inducted into the Illuminati. After undergoing the painful and dangerous initiation rites and ordeals, I had my eyes opened to the Great Truth about the Universe and Man’s place in it. I gradually learned what a heavy burden of responsibility exercising true power could be. How difficult it sometimes is to keep the ignorant masses on the proper course to shape the golden arc of history. The absolute necessity of keeping the perpetual motion engine and the Secret Codicils of the Medici Testament out of the grasping hands of the Freemasons and the White Rose Faction. Preservation of the Pragmatic Sanction from one century to the next. Concealing the true purpose of kale until the elders determine the time is right. It is difficult and sometimes lonely, but it provides a sense of one’s essential identity that the mundanes will never know.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  10. #30
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LDAHL View Post
    I think my greatest identity change came when I was inducted into the Illuminati. After undergoing the painful and dangerous initiation rites and ordeals, I had my eyes opened to the Great Truth about the Universe and Man’s place in it. I gradually learned what a heavy burden of responsibility exercising true power could be. How difficult it sometimes is to keep the ignorant masses on the proper course to shape the golden arc of history. The absolute necessity of keeping the perpetual motion engine and the Secret Codicils of the Medici Testament out of the grasping hands of the Freemasons and the White Rose Faction. Preservation of the Pragmatic Sanction from one century to the next. Concealing the true purpose of kale until the elders determine the time is right. It is difficult and sometimes lonely, but it provides a sense of one’s essential identity that the mundanes will never know.
    I knew there was something sinister about kale! (Kale=Kali. Of course!)

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