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Thread: Chronic lateness

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    Chronic lateness

    I have a problem with chronic lateness to work. I've had it for years. Like, two decades or longer. I don't know when it started, exactly. But no matter what time I set my alarm, no matter how I get prepared the night before, I'm always getting to work just under the wire.

    It's no secret that I've never liked most of my jobs--but I was even late to the ones I DID like. I don't have a huge beauty routine or anything I have to do in the morning. Maybe it's sitting and talking with Spouse that does it. Or sometimes I'll take a few minutes and look at birds on the Cornell Cams. I'll confess I sometimes have "potty issues" (without going into TMI) that interrupt my routine.

    But, like, how early do I have to get up before work in order to get there on time? I get up 3 hours before start time. Is this some deep psych issue, do you think? How early do you get up? Any thoughts/advice on breaking a decades-long habit?

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    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    Can you continue to get up when you normally do, but set your alarm/timer for times at which you have to have accomplished certain things?
    Was lateness an issue in your childhood? There's several reasons this could be happening...but it might just be that you need to be reminded during those before-work times, if you're running behind early enough that you still have time to speed up.
    If you want to get psychological.......it might be your way of rebelling against work?
    Do you have trouble judging times in other areas of your life, or is it just making it to work?
    Are you getting enough sleep?
    Sometimes I wonder if people who are late all the time, are getting something from the adrenalin rush that accompanies being late.??
    I, on the other hand, am neurotically early to everything. haha

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    CathyA, I do have issues getting other places on time, like, say, to my mom's for lunch. And I definitely do not want to work.

    As a kid, I was never late for anything. Probably because I was being chauffeured around by my parents. In my early days of working, it wasn't a problem either.

    I do keep an eye on the clock, for, say, the time by which I should have finished my coffee, etc.

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    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    I would say it's the "rebelling against work".
    Are you late to movies or other fun activities you "WANT" to do?
    To me, if I'm not 15 minutes early then I feel late.
    I'm up at 6:30 and at work by 8:00 and it's a 17 minute drive. I don't do any on-line stuff in the morning. If I starting watching "baby goats in pj's" videos at 7 a.m.....I'd never get to work on time!

    I wash my hair at night so in the morning it's a quick jump through the shower, make-up, dress, coffee, feed cat and check birdfeeders and birdbaths, and down the driveway, I keep breakfast food at work to eat when I'm hungry.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Float On View Post
    I would say it's the "rebelling against work".
    Are you late to movies or other fun activities you "WANT" to do?
    To me, if I'm not 15 minutes early then I feel late.
    I'm up at 6:30 and at work by 8:00 and it's a 17 minute drive. I don't do any on-line stuff in the morning. If I starting watching "baby goats in pj's" videos at 7 a.m.....I'd never get to work on time!

    I wash my hair at night so in the morning it's a quick jump through the shower, make-up, dress, coffee, feed cat and check birdfeeders and birdbaths, and down the driveway, I keep breakfast food at work to eat when I'm hungry
    .
    I could have written your post. I was taught that 20 minutes before is early, 10 before is on time and at the appointed time is late. Generally speaking, being consistently late is a issue of control or in this case and as you said 'rebellion against work'. Barring an unforeseen incident or planned lateness, there is really no logical reason to be late.

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    When I used to have to do things like this that I did not want to do on a regular basis, then I set my clocks and watches 15 minutes early, and told myself that is the real time. I could figure it out when I got there, and I wasn't late anymore.

    Not worth it to psychoanalyze myself, as that did not help. I needed a quick fix.

  7. #7
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    DW is up an hour-and-a-half before she leaves for work, which is plenty of time for her to get ready (no extensive regimen there, either) and sip some coffee while we watch a network news program. Trouble is she either gets sucked into watching the program or doing something on social media and, before she realizes it, she's 20-30 minutes later than she says she wants to leave. She has a similar problem leaving work, so it's not a latent dislike of how or where she makes her living. It's just her.

    I've suggested a couple of times that if being on time was really important, there are all kinds of ways to set timers and alarms. However, she does not set timers or alarms. So I've concluded that being on time is not important. It's not like she has to punch a clock or anything. If she's not home in time for dinner, I eat without her and she's fine with that. So -- in her case -- who really cares?
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

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    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    Frugalone, are you late to everything? Not just work and lunch with your mom, but medical appts, visits with friends, the movies, etc.

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    Iyanla said on one of her shows that people who cannot tell the truth consistently, even if it is about where they will be when, are not bad people, they just are not capable of what she needed from them, and she could not be in relationship with them.

    With our cable switchover I lost OWN and her show sniffle sniffle, so I am paraphrasing from memory.

    If you saw this as an issue of personal integrity, could you change?

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