2 possible places to move!

[Zoe Girl]

I am excited that I have 2 potential places to move to. I am on a facebook group for creative housing, lots of roommate situations. And I signed up with an online service as well. My first choice said that they had a few applications ahead of me, but just sent me a message that the room is open. It is a range of ages of women who live more cooperatively. That would be super great, people who are used to having a communal living situation. The other is a lady a few years younger with a daughter who lives there part time. Both would accept my older cat,

I have about 6 weeks, I have been rather overall unstressed but at some point I do need to take care of this!

[catherine]

I would love to hear your experiences with communal living! I've always thought that it sounds great, but the actual day-to-day could be variable depending upon the mix of people. Kind of like what I have here in VT--we don't actually live like a commune, but we do have common land we are co-responsible for, and we tend to co-exist closely with each other, whether it's noticing that Neighbor #1 is taking a shower in his outdoor shower, or Neighbor #2 has started a fire, which is an unsaid invite to hang out for the evening together.. it's been a level of closeness I haven't experienced before, esp in New Jersey, land of the bedroom community and tall fences.

[Zoe Girl]

I met with one house last night. It was interesting. I expected something really different (for some reason I thought it was all women but it is mostly men). I felt really comfortable in a lot of ways, but maybe it was just getting out and meeting people which I don't tend to do a lot of. However very busy and noisy, especially compared to where I have been living. The biggest drawback is that it is messy, and I would want to clean a lot. One of the biggest bonuses is that there are dogs, nice big ones that fell asleep in the living room. I miss dogs. They do a lot of 'making', a music studio in the basement, beer making in the kitchen, an unused green house that I could play with.

The owner of the house is a very outgoing guy a little older than me. He would like to develop a synergestic group and I would be both a female and an introvert balance to it all. I really don't know, I would share a bathroom with the other female, the jack and jill type? In any case it has a bathtub! I haven't had a bathtub in a very long time. However just walking through and looking at her room made me cringe. It is not my space however, there are always doors that can be shut. I did ask if it was okay if I organized spaces, I do check in before I do things like that (such as ask if anyone wants a say before I go through the spice cabinet).

I meet with a woman tomorrow night who is much closer to where I work, and then will think about it while they think about it (the owner is concerned about my cat).

[Tybee]

Could you take the cat over for a visit and see how they interrelate, to see if it even might work?
I would be bummed out by the messy thing, but they sound like lovely people, and an interesting situation.

[Zoe Girl]

We talked about taking the cat over, not sure it would be a good test. Honestly my cat has not had issues with other animals, never hissed at any people and has lived with a dog and other cats. So I am not worried. I would just like a place where he could leave the room since here he is really stuck inside my room and going a little bonkers of course. He likes to look out of the window, my room has a lot of light for the basement but there is not a way for him to sit at the window. If I was staying I would fix up something for him.

Yes interesting people, I think I am going to email my counselor. I don't know if it is a case where I need to join the 'land of the living' or if I need a quieter place for my practice (buddhist)

[sweetana3]

Listen to your inner voice. The communal house does not sound like it could meet your needs. A lot going on and it will probably never be "quiet". If you already are feeling the draw to clean and organize, will this be your home life? Taking care of others is a strong draw for you and not probably the best when you are caring for others the rest of the day. Just a thought. Maybe a few more visits before you make any commitment?

[Zoe Girl]

I am also concerned about being house mother type in the situation, and I also really liked having my kids at home with all of their friends over a lot. I never really got tired of having a couple extra people around. I tend to get too introverted and isolated so simply having people around is a huge benefit to me (and I clean what I want, when I want. It is very soothing for me to clean and organize). Almost all of them are meditators, I spent a lot of time around kids and teens meditating. The only thing I really recall about having my kids while trying to practice was that I couldn't leave comfortably, I always was running home for someone.


I am going to write to my counselor and then meet the other roommate situation tomorrow night, we were going to talk later in the week like Friday.

Edited to add: This feels like a 'maker house'

[JaneV2.0]

Communal living sounds like a form of hell to me, so take my opinion for what it's worth, but I agree with others about the noise and housekeeping issues. Keep looking, I say.

[Zoe Girl]

I think on this forum communal living would be hell to a lot of people, but that is okay. Many people would have considered those years with 3 teens and rotating other young people through my house was hell. I had fun, and got a few to try some tofu and quinoa!

[Teacher Terry]

I am a extrovert and that sounds like hell to me too.