I know I tend to ramble on, so I'm gonna try and condense this:
Mary, Martha and I have been friends for many years (decades). Mary and Martha grew up together and were best friends. Mary and I were also best friends in adulthood, but I began to curtail my relationship with her for various reasons and we are no longer close. In the meantime, Martha and I have gotten closer.
When Martha and I have gotten together, she's often spoken of how she feels abandoned and insulted by Mary in different situations. Like, Mary will ditch Martha to go out with her live-in BF (about whom Mary complained for YEARS that she couldn't stand him, wanted to leave etc.) The three of us have not gotten together in ages. I've been under the impression that Martha doesn't care much for Mary any more.
OK, so recently: Martha's sister Carrie, who is also a friend of mine though I haven't seen her in a while, was diagnosed with fast-moving cancer. Through text messages, Martha informed me that Carrie was being moved to hospice. This was two weeks ago. I called Martha and she was sobbing so hard she could hardly talk. It was a shock to me--she has always been a tower of strength. She asked me to come to her house a week ago to help her write Carrie's obituary. I agreed to come up on Friday (my day off). Martha has a habit of inviting me to her house and then backing out, so I fully expected it, especially since she is either at a nursing home with her mom (who has dementia) or with her sister in her spare time. Friday, she texts me and tells me she's home sick with a sick grandson and she's bummed out b/c she was looking forward to our visit. Asks me to call her. I text her back, saying I'll call in a few minutes. Called her 2x that day and she never returned my call.
She asked me through a text if we could make plans for this weekend. I said I would have to see, as I had some things going on, and we really needed to talk. The things going on: The closing for my house, and a get together with my sister and friend. After which I had hoped I could go to Martha's house.
I called her two days later to see how she was doing. Texted to see how she was doing. Nothing.
During the week, I invited her to join my sister, friend and I for the gathering. Asked how she was doing. Heard nothing. Yesterday was her birthday. Sent her a nice text. Nothing.
So today, reluctantly, I PMd Mary on Facebook Messenger. Asking her if she'd spoken to Martha at all, and that I was worried. Honestly? I didn't even know if Mary knew about Carrie's illness. I get this short answer back from Mary: "I was with Martha last night."
I explained about the texts, phone calls and missed visit. I heard nothing in response. Then I said, "How is Carrie?"
Mary says, "Carrie is not good." Just that.
I said, "Last time I spoke to Martha she said Carrie was going to a hospice."
Nothing.
I wonder if I've pissed somebody off here. I also wonder why Martha is hanging around with Mary after telling me how much Mary's hurt her (I've been hearing this for years).
Had Martha returned my phone calls, or even texted me, I would have gladly explained about the house closing.
And yes, I know how much it sucks to have a relative with cancer. I lost my dad six weeks before my wedding. He was 50; I was 23. It was one of the worst times of my life.
I really don't know what to think.
And right now? I have a huge project in front of me: Decluttering and moving a six room house with basement and attic, moving a car that won't run, Thanksgiving, and repairs to the new house which turned up in the walk through.
I'd say the ball is in her court. What do you think?