There is nothing more you can do. You are a good friend.
There is nothing more you can do. You are a good friend.
Years ago when I was in college I was maid of honor to a friend from high school. She got pregnant soon after the wedding, but lost the baby at 5 months along in the pregnancy. I wrote the friend a letter (this was in the late 80s) when I heard about the miscarriage from her mom. Never had a response. Wrote another time or two, just saying I was thinking of her. I tried calling a few times, leaving a message, but I never heard from her again. Both her mom and sister called me multiple times, chewing me out for not being in touch with friend. I told them I’d written and called multiple times, but didn’t hear from friend at all. They told me she needed a visit from me. I was at college an hour away with no car and I was supposed to just drop everything to visit when friend hadn’t acknowledged my attempts to contact her? I just told them a visit wasn’t possible.
Friendship is a two way street. If you’ve reached out multiple times with no response, just leave it alone.
I have never deserted a friend. We have been there for people through terminal illness and until they died helping them with whatever was needed. We drove a hour each way once a week to visit a friend with Alzheimer’s for 1 1/2 years. However, if I was getting no response from someone I would let it go. Obviously my friend with alzheimers was a different story as she couldn’t reach out. Eventually she no longer knew us but we still went. People have their own reasons for not responding and if I kept getting no response I would feel like a pest to keep trying.
I called one more time, last evening. That's as far as I'm going to go.
I don't want to be a pest. I have been asking myself, if it were my sister who were dying, how much would I want to hear from my friends? I'm not sure. When my dad was dying, I don't remember a lot of friend interaction.
When my Dad was dying and then 13y later my Mom, I was most grateful to those who continued to let me know they cared and were there for me. Texts and voicemails would not be a negative. I didn't always call back or respond, but it meant a great deal to me to have others reach out.
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