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Thread: A dear friend has gone off the political deep end

  1. #1
    Senior Member flowerseverywhere's Avatar
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    A dear friend has gone off the political deep end

    I have a very dear friend of many years. As time goes by, she is turning an almost hysterical person. Yesterday she told me anyone who voted or supports Trump is evil and racist. She thinks we should let everyone in that wants to, allow everyone here illegally to become citizens. So I asked what about the 65 million refugees in camps. Well they should all be let in according to her. Plenty of room in our country.
    Then I was talking about some of the volunteer work I was doing through a local church. Food bank, school tutoring type of stuff. She thought the government should be taking care of everyone, provide English lessons, food stamps, housing and medical care for all these people. Just raise taxes on rich people.
    But the worst thing was that she is so angry. She included me on an email with some like thinking persons, they were going on about how they canít wait for Trump to be Impeached and things like he only works two hours a day, lots of unsubstantiated accusations. I asked them not to include me in political emails.

    So so far I have kept calm and try to steer her away from politics, but she is obsessed. I donít want to cut off a 40 year friendship. I did not vote for Trump, and I donít like a lot of his politics, his name calling, outright lies etc. but this extreme far left stance is way too much. I find it just as bad as the far right rhetoric.

    I put this in politics because i was sure it would become about politics instead of interpersonal relations quickly.

  2. #2
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    It may be diificult for her to sustain the intensity of these views long term. Do not try to debate her. If she insists on proselytizing minimize contact with her until he is no longer president. By then she should burnt out and/or calmed down.

    This is one reason I got off Facebook.

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    It’s not healthy to let something you have no control over consume you. She is only hurting herself. Hopefully, your friendship can survive this.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Rogar's Avatar
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    I have had a similar situation with a long term friend. We worked together, played sports together, and shared a few family functions. He went off the political deep end for some reason, only in this case Obama was the cause of all his troubles and the downfall of the country. Our discussions became almost exclusively about politics. I think he might be described in contemporary terms as the angry white person. Oddly enough, when 45 became president things really didn't change. There was always some external situation beyond his control that was causing some degree of angst and focus. I still consider him a friend, but just had to limit time I could spend with him. I'd always come away from our visits with bad vibes. Maybe there are people like that who have a void or empty space in their lives and politics is in the news so much they just get caught up.

    What ever it it, I don't think it's healthy to be around people who focus exclusively on negative things and ignore other joys of life. If I could suggest anything at all by my humble understanding of people, maybe you friend could get involved in some challenging projects, maybe volunteering to help others or a hobby or sport of some sort.

    I enjoy political discussions and am not immune to getting angry sometimes, but it' sort of like the weather. There is not a lot that the average person can do to change things and it's just not worth being overly angry about it. There are many pleasures in life and too little time to enjoy all of them.

  5. #5
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    Yesterday she told me anyone who voted or supports Trump is evil and racist.
    isn't this a fairly typical viewpoint for those who don't like Trump? The r accusation? I did not say it was a view I hold. Just a fairly typical viewpoint.

    She thinks we should let everyone in that wants to, allow everyone here illegally to become citizens. So I asked what about the 65 million refugees in camps. Well they should all be let in according to her. Plenty of room in our country.
    not that uncommon a view either though I doubt it's a majority view. But quite likely the view of the new governor here.

    they were going on about how they can’t wait for Trump to be Impeached and things like he only works two hours a day, lots of unsubstantiated accusations. I asked them not to include me in political emails.
    this was probably a creative extrapolation from a NYT article on Trump's t.v. viewing, trying to guess how many hours he has to work left:
    https://thehill.com/homenews/adminis...per-day-report
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  6. #6
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    If your friend has become a bore, you have to extract yourself from the friendship. That is what happens to bores, they loose their friends. It is a hazard of their condition.
    Last edited by iris lilies; 12-4-18 at 2:32am.

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    Senior Member Gardenarian's Avatar
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    +1

  8. #8
    Senior Member flowerseverywhere's Avatar
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    Everything you all have said is true. This is someone who I have really cherished as a friend and I am so sorry to see this happening. The part that was the hardest for me is not the actual political part, because I know we have become a nation divided. We have allowed the 24 hour biased news media and social media to spread half truths and downright lies which we are eager to believe if it fits our agenda.
    What I find the saddest is she is destroying herself over things which she has no control. For instance, although I am very far from being religious, I have become involved in a local church that does great humanitarian work domestically. My quilt group has been helping victims of the Panhandle devastation, sending bedding, new clothes, Walmart cards and food through a member who has family there and a church connection that has people sleeping in its church. Just trying to do something in the hopes that 85% of what we gather and donate is doing its intended job. I cannot do anything about some people who might try to cheat the system. I have to believe in the good of humanity as a whole. She disagreed with me and said she sees nothing good going on, this administration has destroyed everything. And the crazy thing that while Obama and Trump were blamed for every Ill, it truly is the fault of our congress that should have been all along passing immigration reforms, making tweaks to our taxes, gun laws and so on. Not total overhauls but dealing with one issue at a time and being sensible instead of the total far right or total far left responses. Their inaction and gridlock has greatly added to this.

    It has has helped me immensely to put this down in words. And I have a plan.

    i am going to visit her and tell her how I really feel. That she has become the most cynical and negative person I know and I see her destroying herself. It may ruin our friendship, but a true friend is honest. I am seeing her next week so I’ll report back. I have time to write out some thoughts and clarify my feelings so I can come across as kind and concerned, not totally aghast and horrified at her totally rigid negative stance.

    How sad sad to be so consumed that it runs and ruins your life.

  9. #9
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    Some people can truly become deranged by an ideology if they are in an ideological and social bubble.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by flowerseverywhere View Post
    ...raise taxes on rich people.
    I agree with her on this point!

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