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Thread: Objects that used to have meaning but don't anymore

  1. #11
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    Marie Kondo talks about thanking objects you no longer want for the role they played in your life before getting rid of them.

  2. #12
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    What I have found after both growing older and decluttering our long held house is that there are layers of emotions attached to things that sometimes have to be peeled back gradually. At some point, you will be ready to get let go of something that formerly meant a lot. So you let go of a few items that aren't quite as sentimental and save a few that you just aren't ready to let go of. As a former antique dealer, I had a lot of teapots, glass and china crap I had saved before we moved. I brought only two boxes of that stuff here and recently opened them up. After not seeing any of it for two years, I was surprised at how little attachment I felt to see it all again. My whole world has changed so they no longer hold any meaning. I am now ready to let them go. And another neat thing about stuff is that "it goes in and comes out and starts over again" so to speak. New things come in to replace the old and I no longer let myself get too attached to stuff. Does that make sense?

  3. #13
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    pinkytoe--yes, it definitely does make sense. One thing that really makes me happy is hand-thrown pottery. I can never get too many pieces of that!

    I'm very surprised at how hard I'm finding the moving thing. (Did I say that already?) I'm such a low-energy person to begin with that I'm not really making much progress.

  4. #14
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugalone View Post
    pinkytoe--yes, it definitely does make sense. One thing that really makes me happy is hand-thrown pottery. I can never get too many pieces of that!

    I'm very surprised at how hard I'm finding the moving thing. (Did I say that already?) I'm such a low-energy person to begin with that I'm not really making much progress.
    I feel your pain. The spirit is wiling, but the flesh is weak. Or as a probably apocryphal Russian translation had it "The vodka is strong, but the meat is spoiled."

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    How about keeping/moving the grandmother teapots. When you unpack them, put them in a place of honor. Look at them daily. After a month, decide if they are keepers or perhaps you really are done.

  6. #16
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    With all you are experiencing, it will be a challenge. Wish you well with the sorting out of stuff. I found that hard when I moved. I finally got so tired that I went through looking for items that had a priority for me and then just let the rest go. That really helped rather than trying to sort everything.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  7. #17
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    I'm fortunate that the stuff I keep for sentimental reasons is all small and easy to store. Mainly photos that are of low quality which in today's era I would delete within a day or two after taking them. Mom was not at all sentimental so there was not much after she or dad died that was of interest. Nonetheless when I was clearing out dad's apartment at the assisted living facililty I agonized over every decision of every object. Four years later hindsight tells me that it was a blessing that I literally had a morning to make my decisions, and lived a 1000 miles away. I kept almost nothing, and don't miss any of it.

    Re-reading your OP I'd personally keep the two that belonged to each grandmother and get rid of the rest plus the hutch. My mother was very much into embroidery. Over the decades she made dozens of beautiful things. But I don't want to live in a house decorated with embroidery, no matter how well done . So I picked a few that I especially liked and let go of the rest. The ones I kept, like the one that memorialized her and dad's marriage, are super treasured by me and displayed prominently. The ones that are gone are not missed.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugalone View Post
    The might have beens...I used to be quite a baker. Dreamed of one of those big KitchenAid mixers for years, got it, used it once. Was diagnosed as a Diabetic and can't bear to bake at home anymore. Still it sits. Oh, the art supplies never used! I've got two sewing machines...and I don't really enjoy sewing...Sigh.
    I also loved and used my KitchenAid mixer until my husband was diagnosed with Diabetes and now I use it a few times a year but no more cookies or cakes.

    I have a couple of things that still have meaning after many years including a shoe box with a some high school memorabilia which will probably be purged soon. I cleaned my parent's house of a 60 year accumulation of meaningful things that my mother had collected over the years and that impacted how I feel about stuff, even meaningful stuff. Guess I am more of a future thinking person than a past remembering person but I still have my wedding dress.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    With all you are experiencing, it will be a challenge. Wish you well with the sorting out of stuff. I found that hard when I moved. I finally got so tired that I went through looking for items that had a priority for me and then just let the rest go. That really helped rather than trying to sort everything.
    Thanks, razz. Actually, that's not a bad idea. Picking out the good stuff and then getting rid of the rest.

    I kept packing the teapots last night. Still haven't made up my mind. Unfortunately I did not put notes on the grandma teapots so it would take unwrapping to see which ones they are. Sigh.

    The hutch has a bottom area with two shelves. As far as I can remember, there's nothing in there that we use, save for a Gorham crystal cranberry dish I use once a year, on Thanksgiving Day. There are a few dishes in there I'd like to keep, but I will have more cupboard space in the new house and they can probably go in the regular cupboards.

  10. #20
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    Frugalone, yes, I have had the same thoughts and experiences, and am going through it even now, albeit not to the emotional level you are having to move through. I'm so sorry about that; how sad for your friend.

    I think one more factor that complicates things is that I do not believe my daughter wants any of my stuff after I'm gone. And yeah, that hutch thing--I have my grandmother's hutch; she won't want it. But it is difficult for me to think about getting rid of it since it was Grandma's. I was so happy to inherit it almost 40 years ago.

    I like and agree with what pinkytoe said about new things to love replacing the old which aren't speaking to you anymore (and being more choosy this time around). Something to think about.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

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