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Thread: Lack of family and friendships/relationships

  1. #21
    Junior Member beach pointe's Avatar
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    Rachel, I grew up having lots and lots of friends, always. I never had lonely times in my childhood or in my young adulthood. Now into my early 40s things are very different, and perhaps I have changed a bit, too.
    I know exactly what you're talking about in your experience in church...and I have always made an effort to talk to people of any age, race, size, etc...I do that sometimes while standing in line at the grocery store. I don't look for people who look like me, or seem close to my age necessarily as I've always enjoyed conversing with all kinds of people. I do believe we all have something in common. I am introverted and sometimes shy, so I do need to sometimes make a concerted effort to talk with others, but I always feel good about it.
    "...Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people's demands. We have learned to live by other people's points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else."
    - Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)

  2. #22
    Junior Member beach pointe's Avatar
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    nswef, I never thought of going to a grief group - I will consider that, thank you. I am so grateful that you all are here, and I want to come back here more, and hopefully have something positive to share, instead of my pain! And thank you! I haven't felt as good as I felt after teaching that yoga class in a few years...I was driving home with a HUGE SMILE across my face, and it felt so good to just smile...Just wish I had someone genuine to share my smiles with. The class was wonderful, the students were fantastic, and it felt great all around!
    "...Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people's demands. We have learned to live by other people's points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else."
    - Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)

  3. #23
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    Well, Pardner,
    if you have nobody around, you could share your smile with a Water-Pik, with the reservoir filled with warm water...

  4. #24
    Junior Member beach pointe's Avatar
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    Thanks dado potato...I will be on Skype with my family later today.
    "...Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people's demands. We have learned to live by other people's points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else."
    - Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)

  5. #25
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    I haven't read the whole thread, but did anyone mention taking language classes? If you take an evening language class, the teacher will almost always put you in small groups to discuss fun topics or practice idioms. In classes I've taught, the students have nearly always become friends. And by the way, I've had a loneliness problem for years now. I have all the same (three) close female friends I made in grad school, but we all live in different places. My undergrad friends all became uber-wealthy (one of them a billionaire); so we don't have a lot in common anymore. But the grad school friends are still close friends. Fortunately I'm only a 2 hour drive from one of them since we moved, and she and I have both been so heartened by our continuing friendship. We've both made many acquaintances since our grad school days, but no close friends. I have found it to be impossible. But I would keep trying everything if I were you. Literally everything. I'm right now considering taking up the flute so that in a few years I can join the town band--it's quite a nice group, and music is such a wonderful, close-knit world community.

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