I think this is when it started to go really bad at my old job. I ran camp 6 days over break last year with someone calling out every day of that. Just being tired was one thing. Then other memories and focusing on gratitude for where I am at now.
Right now the memories are mostly about mistakes I made or ways that I acted, I think that is okay as long as I balance it out with all the good things I did. I started journaling to keep track of my accomplishments. I kept my 'tracker' of everything I did monthly all year in case I need to refresh myself. I don't really want to focus on my old boss or workplace. I am trying to manage how much it took over my life, and how I feel now. I think I would have benefited from better medication for the depression side of things a long time ago. The obsessive part of my illness is really hard to look back on, and maybe I can balance it by thinking of how many projects and tasks I can get done with that positive focused energy.
In any case I am off until January 2nd at this job! Getting some retreat days in