Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: meeting the mother, eeek

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,013

    meeting the mother, eeek

    My son and his girlfriend (P) have been together like 5 years! I have not meant P's mom or parents yet. Sounds kinda weird since we lived a mile apart for awhile. Just nothing has brought us together so far. Apparently she would like to meet me, and I am so nervous! I almost kinda met her once, she was talking to P outside our apartment and she was intense, capital I. She was lecturing P about getting a job and just repeating herself until P was super stressed. It is also significant that I have a background of losing a house, having a bankruptcy and most recently a mental break down and renting a small room from someone.

    On the other hand I am pretty good with it all, I haven't had a lot of thoughts about comparing myself to others. I don't focus on it, and I am not avoiding it either. I made a choice to live like this really years ago when I didn't worry about money as much as spiritual and relationship focus.

    We are meeting for dinner at an Indian restaurant and it is a buffet, so already good that I am not in a position to bring attention to my vegetarianism, lack of drinking, etc. My son and P are coming too, that is much easier. The place is rather casual, and Colorado is casual in general. But still what to wear! I figured jeans, if it is warmer then with my converse, if it is colder then Doc Martins. No clue about what top, something nicer than a Rancid t-shirt or a plain sweatshirt. I am sure I can figure this out.

    My mom told me that she may be intimidated by me since my son and P lived with me for years, spent a lot of time with me, and are comfortable with me.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    2,854
    Honey, you are a creative, spiritual, and caring person. That is all that anyone needs to know. She does not need to know anything about your financial past, mental health or really how you choose to live your life. It is purely your choice to share anything but also your choice to not share. She is a parent and you have loads of experience with those so let that apply until you feel safe and accepted.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    1,251
    Be who you are. Wear whatever feels comfortable that day. You do not have to change for another adult.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    The Suburban Midwest
    Posts
    3,242
    Zoe, meet for coffee. Nothing more. Less stress that way.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,013
    I actually think coffee is more stressful if you do not know the person. At least with Indian food you can go back to the buffet or talk about the food or something.

    As a meditation practice I am just watching this nervousness and where it is coming from and where it is going. Interesting process, but now I need a run.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Phoenix
    Posts
    2,010
    Here’s your inner mantra for that day: “this is not high school. I am 50 yrs old. We are not going to be best friends. She will be an acquaintance. We don’t need to know any details about each other.”

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Phoenix
    Posts
    2,010
    And “I don’t need her approval and she also does not need mine. We are completely different people. And that’s great!”

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    6,794
    With your kids there it will be fine.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,013
    Okay it was fine, we all went (my son, GF, mom and dad) to my favorite Indian place. That helped me feel more comfortable. It was pretty much chatty small talk but fine. My son wasn't grumpy even, he has been working major overtime in a shortstaffed department. He was able to change clothes instead of coming in work clothes.

    I ended up wearing short lace up boots in case you were wondering

  10. #10
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    By a lake in MO
    Posts
    4,609
    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post

    I ended up wearing short lace up boots in case you were wondering
    That was all???? HAHAHA!! Glad it went well. I was going to say boots and a sweater with jeans.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •