Argh, I am starting to settle after my breakdown and notice more of my emotions. I am officially annoyed with a friend. In so many ways she has been super helpful, and in other ways she is so focused on her own medical and life issues that she is not available. I think I am very understanding of her capabilities, I was one of the people helping her recover from a back surgery by visiting, taking her on walks, doing some mild household chores that were hard.
She lives fairly far away, like 45 minutes, and comes to my area on a regular basis. We have met for writing dates in an in between area and she is very considerate about my time. However she also never comes to my place. She has been visiting her dad close to me every Saturday but has never taken me on the offer to come to tea. So it rather balances out. But today she had a dentist appointment very close to me, and she said she was going to call, then a couple hours later I texted her and she had gone home but invited me over. No reference to our plans. I passed on going all the way up to her house.
We also shared a room over New Year's when we were on a retreat. She was horribly sick, went to urgent care had a sinus infection. So I spent the day in retreat mode and when I got back to the room she was in super sick mode. I always checked in to see if she wanted me to bring food or pick her up something. One night she wanted to keep watching her movie past 10 pm, something in the Hunger Games series. Not retreat appropriate. I was not that flexible, and passed on her offer of earplugs. She did turn it off or put it in her tablet.
I know I need to readjust my expectations for this friendship. I already have by realizing I get resentful if I do too much helping, so I am not helping her with her current purging process. I am irritated that her needs seem to take priority most of the time.
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Originally Posted by Float On
