Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 234
Results 31 to 33 of 33

Thread: Not sure what to do - Husband passed away

  1. #31
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    2,644
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    One thing that I find helpful with emotional "stuff" that is left over is to burn it in my burn barrel, while praying for peace and love for the other person. I ask that the hurt be taken away and that we all find peace. I figure that we cremate our loved ones bodies, and this is not really that different.

    But it is hard to sort it out an figure what to keep, for sure.

    But you are only one person, and you cannot be expected to to carry someone else's turtle shell on top of your own, to use your metaphor.

  2. #32
    Senior Member corkym's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    125
    Thank you Tybee, what a great idea! I know I have a lot of my own things I need to "burn" and pray over also. Yes, it's time to let the other turtle shell go and start trying to maintain my own.

  3. #33
    Senior Member corkym's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    125
    Quote Originally Posted by Simplemind View Post
    I was reading an article on grief and guilt and one sentence really resonated with me - Feeling guilty is not the same as being guilty. I let that sink in. So simple and so true. Feelings are neither right nor wrong, true or false. I have felt guilt but if I went back in time there is very little I would change. I yearn for a different scenario but I did the best that I could with the hand I was dealt and the level of understanding I had in the moment.
    I'm not sure if I am posting this correctly. I mean for it to go under Simplemind's post.
    I love that quote "Feeling guilty is not the same as being guilty." I think that is a lot of my problem - I feel guilty over things that I really couldn't change. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. In fact my son had asked that of me the other day. He said "really mom, would dad have changed if you had done something different?". He and I both knew that no he wouldn't have changed. We both love him more than words can say but there were some things we don't even think he could have changed with all the meds he was taking with the side effects and a possible asperger's or learning disability. I guess the one thing that could have been changed is we should have been aware enough to have him tested and then work with that.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •