"People, I just want to say, can we all get along?"
Internet communities are interesting institutions. I could pass ALL of you on the street and pass right by, yet I've shared many aspects of my life with you and you with me. Our only means of communication are words--no body language, no eye contact, no nuance behind intonation, no silence in each other's presence.
So it's not unusual that sometimes people may "say" something that on the surface looks unfriendly, or even hostile. And it's not unusual for the recipient of those words to take offense or even feel attacked. Those other mitigating factors of community--a touch, body language, nuance--are not available to assuage the incendiary words.
If anyone is compelled to deprive ALL of us of your virtual company, words of wisdom and friendship because of one hurtful post, please, please reconsider. Please consider that you may be reacting to one person, and not even just one person, that one person's one post. But if you react by going away, it's your whole "family" here that's going to suffer a little by your absence.
It's not like I don't have any social life and depend on this forum for human interaction, but it's certainly true that I count you as friends, virtual or not. The other day I was talking to a colleague who mentioned she grew up in New Mexico, and I said, "Oh, I have a friend in Madrid!" Or I'll say to fellow Master Gardeners, "Oh, I have a friend who's an expert in irises." Or, when I was looking for a place in Vermont, I remember telling my realtor, "Oh, a good friend of mine found this house online and suggested it."
Unlike in real life, if you guys go away, you're "dead to me" in the sense that I can't continue the relationship. Despite being "friends" with some of you for up to 20 years, I don't even know your real names! I have no emails, phone numbers, addresses, nothing. And so when you get mad and decide to leave, I grieve a little, truth be known. I've lost a friend.
Interesting times we've found ourselves in, when our friends are "Senior Members" only known to us by a facade of up to thousands of posts, and nothing more. But the personalities behind those posts have added to my life, and I anticipate will continue to do so.
So, before you get pissed off, or annoyed, or hurt and decide to close your account because of one post, please think of the rest of us.
And as for the rest of us, let's be careful about checking our words for their likelihood to hurt or offend.