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Thread: Continuing problems with pastor from previous church

  1. #11
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    This was a safe place to vent about it. I've told absolutely no one else.

  2. #12
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    I dont think sharing here where we do not know each other in real life is gossip. It is a good way to get things processed out.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    I dont think sharing here where we do not know each other in real life is gossip. It is a good way to get things processed out.
    I agree.
    To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. - Anon.

    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. - Dalai Lama

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    I dont think sharing here where we do not know each other in real life is gossip. It is a good way to get things processed out.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
    This was a safe place to vent about it. I've told absolutely no one else.
    I agree also. The problem described here is in generalities, no specific congregations or names are mentioned just enough information have an idea of what is going on. Good place to vent and process without fear of reprisal.

  5. #15
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    A minister once said he would prefer someone be on their boat thinking about church than to be in church thinking about being on their boat.
    Oh boy did I need to hear that!
    Since I work for a church and attend that same church....it always feels more like work on a Sunday than a place of worship. I may just skip the next nice Sunday and go kayak.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  6. #16
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
    Folks whoíve been here a long time may remember the issues I had with the priest (Orthodox) from my previous parish which caused me to leave the parish in early 2008. Not long after, he tried taking me down online, even going so far as to try to get me in trouble with the regional Orthodox group I was involved with. He was a women stay at home right from the beginning of marriage, have many babies, homeschool only type. I was an outspoken single woman which he didnít like.

    Anyway, Iíve been much happier at current parish. I have had no contact at all with priest from previous parish. I barely have contact with anyone who attends that church. I found out recently from a friend that used to go there that that priest is talking about how Iíve fallen and need to be reformed since Iím gone from church in the summer when Iím scuba diving. I hate gossip!

    Anyway, a young woman from my current parish is marrying a guy from the old parish - where the troublesome priest still is. Wedding is this summer at my current parish. The troublesome priest will be doing the wedding with my priest. Normally, Iíd be singing, but that means missing diving. I was also asked to do one of the readings at the wedding. I politely declined, saying I was taking a lot of trips this summer. When I was asked, they didnít have a firm date.

    The real reason Iím skipping this wedding is that I donít want to be anywhere near the old priest. The family doesnít know that and they donít need to. I did warn the brideís parents that when I was at the other parish, the priest had no issues getting very political (very conservative) about issues like gay marriage during wedding sermons. That has no place and a lot of guests always got upset. I donít know if heís like that now, but I felt I had to at least warn them, and they do what they like with the information. Sad situation, but keeping myself away from the wedding is the best thing for me to do.
    I remember your earlier discussions. I don't get priests who believe they are above 'the law'. And a priest who verbally uses a congregant as an example are the worst. I'd avoid him too and I think you've done the right things in declining participating in the wedding and staying far away.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Float On View Post
    Since I work for a church and attend that same church....it always feels more like work on a Sunday than a place of worship. I may just skip the next nice Sunday and go kayak.
    If you are a church secretary or church clerk, Sunday is your busiest 'work' day as that is the day many people see you and remember something they need or forgot to tell you.

  8. #18
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    Most likely to be a safe place to vent, I get that. However I tend to view venting as not the same as gossip. Gossip can be both, as it involves a GROUP of people, where you can vent to someone you really trust (friend, therapist, etc) and not find out how small the world is, IMHE.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    The whole situation just gets weirder.

    I can’t get why the priest at the other parish has it out for me so much. My current priest told me he was in contact with the other priest about wedding stuff. Other priest started going off about me being “fallen away” due to diving. Current priest told him it was none of his business since I had been gone from that parish for 11 years. While current priest would prefer I be in church, diving was unobjectionable and I was clearly not out carousing, getting drunk or stoned, etc., and I was healthier and active. Current priest told old priest that he was going to contact old priest’s bishop about this.

    Current priest is one of the respected elder (experience, not necessarily age) priests in my area, so he’s not a fly by night. Current parish is a different jurisdiction from old parish, but the old priest’s bishop should listen from all accounts I hear of him.

  10. #20
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    This is an example of emotional/spiritual abuse. Itís none of their business - you are an autonomous adult.

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