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Thread: Sad Situation

  1. #1
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    Sad Situation

    My husbandís ex just stopped over to ask 2 big favors. Her cancer came back a year ago and itís stage 4 and running out of options. For many years she lied about us to both kids, took him back to court repeatedly, etc. The kids are 28 and 30 and about 4 years ago she became more pleasant. She has only one friend probably because of her self centered personality. She needs someone to accompany her to a special cancer treatment center in another state and they wonít see her without someone going with her. She doesnít want to tell their younger son because he is partway through a year long military officer training and would lose his spot. The older son is like her. I will have to go to her house twice a day to care for 3 animals I am allergic to. For various reasons they cannot be boarded. I felt so bad for her yet much of this is of her making. She was grateful.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    You're better than I am. I wouldn't have done it, especially being allergic to her animals.

  3. #3
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    I have the better end of the deal as my husband has to go with her. My asthma has been better since our big dog died and our Maltese don’t bother me. They share kids and I think sometimes you just have rise above the situation. I wish I believed in a here after because then I might be rewarded)

  4. #4
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Thanks for caring for the animals!

  5. #5
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    Thanks for being decent human beings, TT and Mr. TT.

  6. #6
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    I L, I am a sucker like you when animals involved. She asked a year ago if we would take the small dog when she died and I said no because I’m allergic. 17 years ago my best friend in New York was dying of the same type of cancer. When we told her we had to fly out to say goodbye she informed us it was our weekend to have the kids and couldn’t go. I said we are going. I had forgotten about this but how ironic she has the same type.

  7. #7
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    My ex is a much better person and I would go with him in a heartbeat. This has stirred up a lot of forgotten resentments. I am proud of my husband and I also feel bad she is dying. I think sometimes I got double the empathy gene which doesn’t always serve me well.

  8. #8
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    On the one hand, itís good of you both to help her.

    On the other hand, a few times you say that you ďhave toĒ do these things. I just want to point out that you donít have to. You could say no.

  9. #9
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    It appears that she needs some help... and she turned to you, because her other options were problematic. With her health in decline, it may be she needs to put past conflicts and resentments into a more conciliatory framing. It's no picnic to take care of her animals, I am sure. Is there some way to reduce the allergic reaction?

    I am glad that supportive vibes have been sent your way. I'll add mine as well.

  10. #10
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    Tammy, I know we don’t have to but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t. I am thankful I am not in that situation. DH not looking forward to it either but maybe it will help them heal.

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