For $100,000 I could manage the process of working minimally, politely, and at a distance with a sibling and our overseeing attorney. I would think of it as a job. Of course, depending on how many hours were involved it might not be worth it.Originally Posted by Tammy
for small money, yeah, not worth it. I dont care about fairness or who deserves their share of an estate or issues of right or wrong in things like this if my life energy is at stake.
I was a guardian for someone for 2 years for free and drove 2 hours every week to visit even after she no longer recognized me so yes I would work for 100k.
Tammy I understand how you feel but it isn't that simple in the case of real estate. There is a legal contract that they can't walk away from. They are partners in this home. It isn't just a home with a future pay out but it is a home with a current list of expenses. Utilities, taxes, upkeep...… If this sister isn't doing her duties for the future pay out then she most likely isn't paying close attention to what is going on now. If she defaults then the other two who have been kept in the dark will be left holding the bag. Hopefully she did the end of life taxes for the father as well as the taxes for the value of the trust at his death. Hopefully she is paying the yearly taxes because I can tell you, the IRS doesn't care about your freedom and peace of mind.
That is a very good point! I suppose one could legally give up all rights and responsibilities to an estate? While it is in probate? I dont know.
Honestly, I am feeling so lucky my parents were destitute. What horrible stories.
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If you are held liable in the longterm, surely that will set the stage for you to get the estate cleared ASAP to reduce your liability. Are you being too patient?
As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”
First off @SimpleMind, thanks for weighing in, you certainly had a challenging situation.
To answer some questions, as far as the trust involving us, the original lawyer who drew up the trust is retired and not able to assist.
I know that MS has done the end of life taxes and is keeping up with the expenses on the home. In one of our last conversations, she mentioned getting a 1099 for Dad's retirement account for tax year 2018 and was dealing with that, mentioning that she did the final return the year before (for 2017). She is keeping up on property taxes, I can check via the county treasurer website, there is nothing outstanding, payments are up to date.
Regarding the question that @iris illies raised if one can legally give up all rights to an estate and yes, it is possible in my state. Right now I am not going to do that, but it is one of the options on the table. DH does not want me to give up on the money, it is significant right now but if this drags on long term, it will probably not be worth it. It's still on the table to contact the lawyer myself and the concern I will outline is about any liabilities we face if this is not resolved soon. Right now YS is planning to contact the attorney again to check status as per the attorney's statement that the house will be cleared and up for sale soon. She has put MS on notice that she expects any updates to be addressing that. If nothing comes of it, then I will be taking action with a letter to attorney / petition the court for an accounting of the estate.
@Catherine, I wish my parents left nothing, we would not go through this grief. I had a coworker who told me that he advised his mother to spend her money after his dad died and enjoy her life. When asked about how he felt about not inheriting anything, he said it would be the best thing, no hassles, no problems, no acrimony, just over.
MS has put YS and I through hell over the past 4 and a half years. Even if this resolves tomorrow, I know my relationship with her is forever changed. I am starting some therapy through my workplace EAP to discuss the lingering grief / loss issues that have been preoccupying me, not just the past losses, but the current and future. I don't see this ending in a way that will keep the relationship between me and MS intact.
My siblings have always been difficult and for years I bent over backwards trying to keep the peace. Once my mom died I stopped. My brother quit talking to me and I have no idea why. My sister and I email once a week. Last year when I went home to see my friends I went to see her for a day. My mom spent all her money and we were all glad. She got to vacation and enjoy herself. I don’t miss them at all.
Saguaro and Teacher Terry.... I wish we lived closer. I would take the two of you out for drinks!!
My husband and I have a saying. If you have watched the Pirates of the Caribbean movies there is a shot of Johnny Depp standing at the top of the mast of his sinking ship as he comes to shore. Just as the ship goes under the surface he lightly steps off onto the dock. We look at our money and the end of our life the same way. At this point none of our kids want to have kids so the line stops with them. None of them have debt or kids to save for college. None of them have ever needed a loan from us. We want to downsize in 10 years and spend ours down so that none of the kids has to care for us and we get to do what we want while we have our health to do it. We call our plan - Johnny Depp'ing it.
SM, that’s a awesome plan. Unless we both die soon there will be no money for our kids. Mine aren’t having kids either. Wish we did live close enough for a drink. My parents were both wonderful people and I miss them. That description made me laugh and I have seen the movie. Most of my friends aren’t close to their siblings. I am much closer to my close friends.
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