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Thread: for Catherine: Congratulations!

  1. #1
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    for Catherine: Congratulations!

    I didn't want to disturb the siblings/estate thread, but wanted to say congrats for this:

    Today we said good-bye to BIL, who is moving from the East Coast to the West Coast.
    I never thought I'd see this happen!

  2. #2
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    He wont boomerang, will he?

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    Wohoo!!!!

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    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    Yay!

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    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    👍

  6. #6
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Yes, he was encouraged to pursue his dream of living in CA by a friend of his out there. That's the good news. The bad news is we just heard from him and he's there and his transitional housing is not that great--a one room affordable housing place with a microwave and dorm fridge.

    So as far as the boomerang thing, it's not out of the question, but he can't come back here because we're giving up the NJ house and the VT house is too small.

    I feel excited for him being out there, and, frankly, a bit worried for him, too. It's hard to live in a bubble for 57 years and then be forced to make your own way.

    But it is nice to have the house to ourselves again.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    The bad news is we just heard from him and he's there and his transitional housing is not that great--a one room affordable housing place with a microwave and dorm fridge.
    That is great news. It gives him a reality check and provides motivation to improve his circumstances.

  8. #8
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I hope it works out well for the sake of all parties concerned. It has a bit of the feeling of launching a teen from the nest, doesn't it?

  9. #9
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToomuchStuff View Post
    That is great news. It gives him a reality check and provides motivation to improve his circumstances.
    Yes. This was the frustrating thing for me, and I tried so hard to be understanding. But he has a very finite pool of money left (which he refuses to put in any decent mutual fund so it's not even making money for him). He has no job skills and little hope of earning much more than minimum wage. He has very few Social Security credits. And he's at the age when most people start thinking of retiring.

    Yet, he sat around all winter after the golf course closed, collecting unemployment. He'd sit and stare at the NY Times crossword puzzle for hours and then go run the track and come home with a pint of Black Label and sit in the back yard blasting 70s rock music. I'd offer him our coffee, but he would prefer to go to the convenience store and buy coffee everyday, along with $5 worth of newspapers. He frittered probably $40 a day on things that he didn't have to spend money on, while bringing in $200 a week unemployment.

    His shiftlessness drove me crazy. I don't understand people who live in that kind of fog. I'd talk to him about income vs outgo; about just pumping resumes out there, about how his coffee cost him $1.25 and mine costs .14 and I didn't have the cost of having to get in the car and drive to a place to get it. I tried to get him to listen to Dave Ramsey but his only comment was, "All those people that call in make at least $100,000." (Which is patently false--but somehow he failed to see the relevance of Dave Ramsey's financial wisdom). I made him spreadsheets showing how long his money will last under various housing and employment circumstances.

    He still doesn't get it, and I truly don't know what his conversion moment is going to be, but I hope it's not when he runs out of his last dime.

    Yet, he's the nicest guy in other ways. My DH was unexpectedly admitted to the hospital early on my birthday, and when I got home after that long day, BIL had a Happy Birthday wine bag with a bottle of wine, a cupcake with a candle in it, and a gift--a Beatles hoodie that he bought me when he was in Las Vegas last year because he knows how much I love the Beatles.

    So, this combination of familial love and frustration is truly making it feel like I'm releasing a teen from the nest.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  10. #10
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    Look at the number of people who couldn't do a $500.00 emergency. It is all too common and you will probably end up hearing about things bought/sold/pawned, etc.

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