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Thread: just still really want a relationship

  1. #1
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    just still really want a relationship

    yeah I am close to giving up on a regular basis. I was on a dating site for a year and got no interest or responses to anything. It was a mindful type site. So I am going to a more mainstream one now that some of my hobbies and personality are not as weird (like meditation).

    I wish there was some easier way, it is discouraging and crappy. It seems some days like everyone else has at least a date, or the chance of a date. The funny thing to me is that I am overall really well liked, somehow it just doesn't translate.

    Okay done with the pity party for awhile.

  2. #2
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    When you least expect it, it may happen.

  3. #3
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    My friends all found a partner through online dating but had a average of 13-16 dates before they found the right person.

  4. #4
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    I am pretty sure there is someone out there, and still feels crappy. But rather than seeing all these people in relationships and think there is a limited amount of it and I am less likely to get a partner if they are in relationship - I could mind shift a little.

    After my shower when I let myself get teary

  5. #5
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    When you least expect it, it may happen.
    I have found that simply getting my own mind/house in order, and not being "looking" or having expectations, has produced great results. (I realize there is nothing simple about "simply"... :-( )

    I've run into fun and interested people simply by going about my normal business and made some good friends. I had a lovely young (OK, she's older than me and is a grandma) lady ask me out months ago when I was simply dropping off some preserves for a charity event. And that's turned out nicely.

    I live in an odd place though - I think I started a thread about the perils of "dating" here, and how online dating doesn't work here.

  6. #6
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    Yes Bae, I wish some of that would happen. I know that I am able to do everything on my own pretty much. I have spent time letting go. And then being divorced for 15 (yes 15!!) with 2 relationship and a dozen dates, whew. Hard to keep your head up,

  7. #7
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I'm an optimist. I'm not going to make any effort to date again, but I may take bae's approach some day in the future.

    If it happens--fine, but I'm quite capable of going on on my own, and I've had enough experience to know that "alone" is vastly preferable to a mediocre relationship.

  8. #8
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    My Time site is for people 50 and over.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    When I decided to have my son I had already been single for 12 years. I figured I wasn't going to date for at least 18 after I had him. Parenting took up all my time when I wasn't working and almost everything we did was one on one. When he was about four the daughter of a co-worker began to be his main babysitter and she asked me if she could take him to do things with a friend of hers instead of always being at my house. She was responsible so I said she could. He spent a lot of time at the friends house who had a kids paradise of a backyard. Within a couple of years the friends parents divorced and the kids decided to get us together. It was seamless with my son because he felt like he was introducing me to a friend of his. Fast forward, we are now married, still living in paradise.
    I never saw it coming. He was not my type and we don't think alike in any way. But he loved my son and was a great father figure to him. He was from a great family and had strong friendships. We were raised very much the same and have the same values. He is honest to a fault and has integrity. A gift that kept on giving…. so I took a leap of faith and here we are.
    My situation aside, some of the best relationships I have ever seen came together when they weren't looking for one. They were out and about, doing things they enjoyed being natural. I also know many many (both my sister and brother) who found their spouses on-line.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    I’m actually quite happy by myself. A guy who didn’t dive would really get in the way right now! I don’t know how I would be able to maintain the amount of diving I do and a full time relationship. Unless the guy was a serious Great Lakes diver as I am.

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