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Thread: just still really want a relationship

  1. #21
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    Just shared Hobby thing: There’s a curse and a blessing.


    DH and I are always running around to garden centers, nurseries talking about this, buying that, planning planting jobs etc. Especially this time of year, we have a lot to talk about it in the shared projects. But the flipside is that we will have ideas about the planting project and we have to negotiate how things get done because his ideas are often different than mine. Then we have arguements about whose garden maintenance duties belong to whom.

    Then there is of course a shared land problem – who gets this part of the land? Who gets that part?

    So shared hobbies means sharing. Sharing is hard. We learned the basics when we were five years old but not sure it gets easier!
    I hear ya. Every year I vow to have my own garden and give him his own garden. Last year we kind of did that, and the only fight we had was when he offered to plant all the seedlings I brought from the nursery, and he threw away all the tags so I had no idea which cultivars were what. But for the most part, he let me do my thing and I let him do his, and things were much happier in the garden.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  2. #22
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    Writer Anne Lamott, who is 65, just got married for the first time last week.

    Here's what she posted on Facebook: "Neal Allen and I got married last Saturday. It was my first wedding, to the love of my life. I had gotten my Medicare card 3 weeks before. So never, ever give up, because God is such a show off."

    And here's the piece on her wedding from today's New York Times:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/26/f...soul-mate.html

  3. #23
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    Food for thought: have you posted your requirements so voluminous or narrow that it's improbable to a find a match? Must a date be Buddhist, vegan and a hiker?

    If there are things you can compromise on, remove them from your profile. Are there things you like to do or consume on a very occasional basis? If yes, add those to show some flexibility and variety.

  4. #24
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    The people I knew that did online dating hit it hard like a job. They corresponded with many people by email or phone to weed people out. They said it was fun.

  5. #25
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I love that Anne Lamott found love late, and married. I've enjoyed her non-fiction. It sounds like a good match.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    Another Anne fan here. I love her observations.

  7. #27
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    I like her hair, when i retire i want dreads.

    I am really not that picky, basically someone who respects me being veggie and meditating a lot but they dont need to do the same thing.i think getting outdoors would be more important. I have no interest in going places like las vegas but could go hiking every weekend.

  8. #28
    Member organictex's Avatar
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    if you are near vancouver Canada or sacramento Cali, i have 2 single friends that may be interested.
    both are bright, vegetarian/vegan, and have money. both are in their early 60s, physically fit and like
    to hike and get outdoors. pm me if you are interested...
    jim

  9. #29
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    It could happen or not. Put yourself out there, and try to enjoy life regardless (some are really better being single than others of course).

    I met my bf though online dating, but I never enjoyed dating AT ALL. I don't think I followed any rules, I mean I don't think I was particular closed minded about someone different, but I really ending up finding a very similar person to myself (and actually I was dating a fairly similar to my personality person before but despite having similar *personalities* we wanted very different things in life - ie kids etc. so that didn't go all that far).

    And yea it is MUCH easier with a very compatible person but I probably could have made different personalities work with more effort.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  10. #30
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    I enjoyed dating -- the second time. If I didn't see a ring on a finger or hear about a relationship, I'd ask.

    The hard part was finding time to meet other people. Back then, work was sucking up a lot of time, I was renovating my house, and some family issues occupied me. So I tried on-line dating. I probably was on that (only) site for a couple of months; DW had been on for several months. I went out with three women before meeting DW; I think she had gone out with five or six. In reading profiles, I tended to concentrate on common values rather than common interests; not that I ignored those but I felt we could compromise on interests more easily than on things like religious views. Profiles never covered the whole person anyway -- they're kind of like resumes, designed to get you the interview, not the job.
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

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