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Thread: What are you most judgey about?

  1. #21
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    IL: well that sounds awful.

  2. #22
    Senior Member boss mare's Avatar
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    People who pulled any type of as trailer ( but most especially horse and stock trailers) with under powered vehicles. People who complain on that horse showing is "political" when they come to a show with their horses with unbathed and unclipped and they
    themselves look like an unmade bed with wrinkled clothes
    Women who complain that their teeth that has rampant decay and blame it on pregnancy ( " the baby sucked all of the calcium from my teeth )
    Parent who bring their children in to the dental office and have bottle mouth caries.... and say that they their kids scream and cries if they can't have a bottle of milk or juice to bed so they cant stand hearing them scream and cry
    Last edited by boss mare; 5-10-19 at 10:19pm. Reason: bad spelling

  3. #23
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    Okay, I have serious things but I have to say the thing I am judgey about that I am also not really proud of is how people dress sometimes. And it is none of my business. And it does not affect my life at all. And I will probably get someone telling me that, so I wanted to say I know that I am judgey in a bad way.

    I really get irritated when people are wearing clothes way out of size for their body as it is. There is one guy at meditation who wears pants like he lost 50 pounds. I have known him for 5 years, he has never weighed more than he does now.

    My assistant wears sweat pants, literally sweat pants, to work. He says he works in childcare just so he can dress this way. I didn't hire him and it was never addressed before me. I make suggestions but let it go (he is leaving in 2 weeks).

    And leggings are not actually pants,
    I was thinking of this very same thing. Leggings are not pants for sure, and one should not being wearing them in public without a long tunic top, especially if one is carrying an extra 100 lbs or so. I struggle with myself sometimes, because maybe it is better to embrace one's body as it is and not worry about what others think, but I cannot really convince myself.
    I think the word "judgey" implies something a bit negative about the judger, so I don't think a dislike for people who are dishonest, bad parents, etc. is being judgey; it is just our value systems at work. For me another example of being judgey would be people who do not read, or people who watch lots of TV.

  4. #24
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    For many years I’ve embraced the therapeutic concept of unconditional positive regard as my life mission. I still judge people every day. But at least I know I’m doing it. Ha.

    I was talking with someone this week about a bias that affects most of us. If we see fault in ourselves, we attribute it to external causes. If we see the same fault in others, we attribute it to their character. Example - bad driving ... for me it’s because I’m lost and looking for the right street. For others it’s because they are rude.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    I think the word "judgey" implies something a bit negative about the judger, so I don't think a dislike for people who are dishonest, bad parents, etc. is being judgey; it is just our value systems at work. For me another example of being judgey would be people who do not read, or people who watch lots of TV.
    I agree, I was thinking that judgey was more something I am challenged by that I know is not great. I also work on it, and I think that overall I don't have a lot of bad habits but that is not an excuse to just keep going. Actually I look at what it tells me about myself.

  6. #26
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I'm aware of my tendency to judge, and I mostly keep a lid on it. My mother could find a flaw in anything or anybody from fifty paces; growing up with her probably made me the good editor I was. It also made me sensitive to criticism, so I bite my tongue or cap my pen or take my fingers off the keys as often as not.

  7. #27
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    Funny about mothers - mine would get very upset if I ever said something negative about another human. If you can't say something nice...was her favorite saying.

  8. #28
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Was it Alice Roosevelt who said "If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me?" She would have been very popular with some I know.

  9. #29
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    Was it Alice Roosevelt who said "If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me?" She would have been very popular with some I know.
    I think that was our girl Dorothy Parker.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    I think the word "judgey" implies something a bit negative about the judger, so I don't think a dislike for people who are dishonest, bad parents, etc. is being judgey; it is just our value systems at work.
    I agree about judgey being negative. I am reminded of the saying (paraphrasing) "If you look for the bad/negative, you will see bad/negative - if you look for the good, you will see the good". I think too many people just look for the negative the majority of the time.

    I also think saying it is our value systems at work is somewhat of a cop-out. As individuals, we get to choose, and again, if you look for the bad, that is what you will see.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

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