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Thread: What are you most judgey about?

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    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    What are you most judgey about?

    This topic came up for me in a discussion with my niece about family biases and being aware of them, and making conscious decisions vs just absorbing the norms of your family of origin.

    What are you most judgey about?

    In my family, my mom was/is super judgey about : women she thought were "loose", and people who weren't "following the rules"/conventions of society at the time (getting married at the right time to a person of the right economic status) . She also was insecure about her lack of formal education, and projected a lot about that. Example: when I used a more than 2 syllable word, I was "putting on airs" or a "show off". She came from poverty/war zone and never had much and made a big deal about obvious displays of "wealth" (for her it was jewelry and collectibles like Hummels and LLadros).

    While I am not judgey over the same topics I grew up with, I am judgey about: 1) inauthentic people. I just have a radar for when someone is trying to impress me or others or is trying to project a certain image that doesn't seem to ring true. 2) people in situations of their own making but unwilling to see their own participation and stubbornness to not change in any way and in the same situations over and over 3) people who are cheap (not just money but also time) by putting the burden on other people (example: my sisters BF who will get cheap airline tickets that require her to pick him up at midnight on a work night, because he is also too cheap to pay for airport parking). I am not judgey about people who make different decisions and choices for themselves and own it.

    What about you? What do you tsk tsk in your head about?

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    Those who spend extravagantly and then bitch about having no money, saying they'll never be able to retire but refuse to save anything. And then have the audacity to tell me I don't understand because I don't have children.

    Um, OK. (I think this falls into your #2.)

  3. #3
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    What am I most judgy about? It would be easy to say the police and leave it at that but it goes much further than that. I'm judgy of a system that keeps a good chunk of it's population down and if not living in fear, living in constant uncertainty. My take overall is that the police are unfortunately on symptom (sp?) of said system - but one of the worst part of said system. Moving beyond the police, the system that has for many years, until very recently, auto-allowed illegal and horrific behavior on the part of the police - but please notice I'm not primarily highlighting the police here as I usually do - it's more the system that has allowed this to take place and the expectation that society allows this to happen to being with.

    Beyond that - people who call off at the last minute, either at work or with plans on my time off work. Schools that cost a fortune and then don't yield any better job than not having gone to said school to begin with. Something I'm very judgy about is people who look down on me for not having a car - expecting me to work longer and save less to satisfy some societal requirement in the their head. Nope, not happening. What else? People who support a system that obviously and actively works against them and not for them. And many more things, these are just at the top of my mind. Rob

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    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gardnr View Post
    Those who spend extravagantly and then bitch about having no money, saying they'll never be able to retire but refuse to save anything. And then have the audacity to tell me I don't understand because I don't have children.

    Um, OK. (I think this falls into your #2.)
    Good one! I completely agree, Gardnr. Rob

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    Laziness, bigotry, being a busybody, tattling, bullying, drama, smoking, poor grammar and spelling when English is your first language.

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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I’m not sure there is enough bandwidth here for me to adequately address this question.

    hahahah! Hahah!

    more, later when I’ve had time to think about it.Is being annoyed/irritated the same as being judgey? Probably not.

  7. #7
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    Is being annoyed/irritated the same as being judgey?
    I'd say no, but there is clearly an overlap. When I use the term "judgey" I mean the type of things, that if you were a gossiping person, that you would gossip about ie "Can you BELIEVE he/she did that?"

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    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Mean people, mostly.

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    I am a feminist and I hate slut-shaming and I am a total supporter of all things LGBTQ and I think everybody should do whatever they want with their own bodies.

    However, when religious save-it-for-marriage purity-ring-wearing young women dress in totally provocative ways with their boobs and asses showing, I become a total judgmental fool in my own mind.

    I think itís the hypocrisy that bugs me. But then that means I think men canít control themselves around beautiful women. Which I also donít believe. Ugh!!!!!!

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    not thinking and caring about the environment or the planet we live on, also arrogance, interpersonal meanness
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

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