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Thread: In Defense of Minimalism

  1. #1
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    In Defense of Minimalism

    CAVEAT: This is clearly a reactive post following weeks of angst, overwhelm and physical and emotional fatigue. I know a lot of you have gone through this, so I don't claim my feelings to be unique or noteworthy. But just in the interest of observation:

    This experience has made me YEARN for having no possessions, and it also makes me ENVIOUS of my mother who lost everything in a catastrophic illness and a barn fire. And it makes UNDERSTANDING of why all the great spiritual leaders stress PURGATION as the road to enllightment. I'm not sure they were talking about the purgation of vintage 70s speakers and 19th century furniture, but it comes down to the same idea.

    My DD and her boyfriend made a return trip all the way from VT to claim some of the things they earmarked and to help us move our stuff up north. Seems that in the garage sale, my overzealous DH sold stereo equipment previously owned by BIL and claimed by my son. Also, they had put a box of MIL's costume jewelry in a black bag with some clothing they wanted, but it seems DH and I thought it was a bag for Goodwill. DD was freaking out because she wasn't sure if that jewelry was valuable or not. Neither do I, but I don't care. When my DD pointed those things out, admitting she should have put labels or stickers on them, I felt bad about the speakers/system components, since they weren't ours to sell.

    And then I got to feeling a little angry that I was put in this position of feeling bad. We were put in the position of housing stuff that's not ours. If we sold it by mistake, too bad. I almost feel as if my estate is already being fought over and I'm not dead yet.

    I also see how unimportant stuff is. How long you keep it after it has served its purpose. How it invades your life like an rash that's hard to cure. I've become angry with myself for letting this stuff get out of hand. For being the hoardmaster for the family.

    I am seeing this new move as being a chance to live a live of material simplici...

    Oops, DH just called me to go pick up the rental truck.

    To be continued.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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    NO one has the right to make you feel bad about getting rid of SHIT they left at your house! They didn't find out about your move yesterday.

    Take a deep breath, let go and move on!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    I totally agree with G. I guess because we moved a fair amount we never accumulated the amount of stuff you did. When I was raising the kids I gave away their toys and clothes as they outgrew them. Thankfully I have always kept things in check and enjoy the possessions I do have. I don’t think your mom was lucky. Everyone is stressing you out and that is bullshit!

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    People left stuff at your house. The moment they left it there they lost the right to it’s eventual destiny. Anything they got from you is a gift - they are the ones who should feel guilty.

  5. #5
    Yppej
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tammy View Post
    People left stuff at your house. The moment they left it there they lost the right to it’s eventual destiny. Anything they got from you is a gift - they are the ones who should feel guilty.
    I don't know about that. After a nasty breakup I was told he had a right to retrieve his belongings accompanied by a police officer. Is there a statute of limitations? Are you required to give notice you will toss something?

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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    I don't know about that. After a nasty breakup I was told he had a right to retrieve his belongings accompanied by a police officer. Is there a statute of limitations? Are you required to give notice you will toss something?
    That is all about tenant’s rights.

    Catherine’s kids are not her tenants.

    Daughter should’ve taken her bag of jewelry with her when she put that bag of jewelry in with clothing
    . if she was there with her hands on it she should’ve taken it with her. But so what if it’s worth something, isnt nice for Goodwill? Assuming that they do not pitch it, and they probably will not.

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    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Hang in there, Cath, it will get done and life will feel freer. Each change is a challenge to get through but it is worth it.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  8. #8
    Yppej
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    Her kids are not her tenants, but her BIL lived there. In some states beware houseguests staying beyond 30 days. You will have to evict them, they have rights, etc.

  9. #9
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Her kids are not her tenants, but her BIL lived there. In some states beware houseguests staying beyond 30 days. You will have to evict them, they have rights, etc.
    Oh I see what you mean when she talks about the brother-in-law’s abandoned clothing in “his” room and his papers. Oh yeah you are absolutely right that random squatters who pay no rent earn rights. What is this world coming to? God bless America! Get off my lawn!

  10. #10
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    So - there’s got to be a tenant law that says after so many days after leaving, they abandon their right to their stuff.

    But he chose to leave. I have never moved from an apartment and left stuff there. I bet there’s no law to protect stuff after moving out voluntarily. I can’t imagine being a landlord and storing stuff that was left behind.

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