CAVEAT: This is clearly a reactive post following weeks of angst, overwhelm and physical and emotional fatigue. I know a lot of you have gone through this, so I don't claim my feelings to be unique or noteworthy. But just in the interest of observation:
This experience has made me YEARN for having no possessions, and it also makes me ENVIOUS of my mother who lost everything in a catastrophic illness and a barn fire. And it makes UNDERSTANDING of why all the great spiritual leaders stress PURGATION as the road to enllightment. I'm not sure they were talking about the purgation of vintage 70s speakers and 19th century furniture, but it comes down to the same idea.
My DD and her boyfriend made a return trip all the way from VT to claim some of the things they earmarked and to help us move our stuff up north. Seems that in the garage sale, my overzealous DH sold stereo equipment previously owned by BIL and claimed by my son. Also, they had put a box of MIL's costume jewelry in a black bag with some clothing they wanted, but it seems DH and I thought it was a bag for Goodwill. DD was freaking out because she wasn't sure if that jewelry was valuable or not. Neither do I, but I don't care. When my DD pointed those things out, admitting she should have put labels or stickers on them, I felt bad about the speakers/system components, since they weren't ours to sell.
And then I got to feeling a little angry that I was put in this position of feeling bad. We were put in the position of housing stuff that's not ours. If we sold it by mistake, too bad. I almost feel as if my estate is already being fought over and I'm not dead yet.
I also see how unimportant stuff is. How long you keep it after it has served its purpose. How it invades your life like an rash that's hard to cure. I've become angry with myself for letting this stuff get out of hand. For being the hoardmaster for the family.
I am seeing this new move as being a chance to live a live of material simplici...
Oops, DH just called me to go pick up the rental truck.
To be continued.