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Thread: What to do??

  1. #1
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    What to do??

    What to do when you know child will not take care of you if needed. We have no family except for son who, I doubt, would not hesitate to call us incompetent and put us away for our money. We don't know what to do for financial or physical powers of attorney. Who else could do this? We have no family or friends to speak of. Now, we have each other but if one of us dies we are at the mercy of said son. Embarrassingly sad.

  2. #2
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    What knd of care are you expecting? Be specific.

    How old are you? How old is your spouse?

    There are ways to protect your money from son.

  3. #3
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    Hire an attorney or paralegal to write your will and make them the executor. You owe your child nothing (I have no children and no, expected nothing from my parents).

    Outline what you want for care should you become mentally incompetent. Also write your Living Wills so that your wishes are honored.

    You can be like my Mom and choose your own facility and she was quite adamant we not move her in with us. As it turns out, her diagnosis to death was just 7 weeks and my youngest sister and I opted to each work part-time and care for her to the end. But even then, she told us we could take her to that facility.

    Choose charities you value and leave any remaining monies to them. And if your assets are significant, you can have an endowment setup in a program you value to give it forward.

    Although we each have family, DH chooses to leave nothing to his-he has selected organizations to receive his 50% of our estate. I feel differently, and am leaving some to my family. We meet with our estate planning attorney on June 29.

    We intend to have in-home care should the need arise. We have a large 14x19 room for a live-in and the investments to pay for it.

    Best of luck making your decisions.

  4. #4
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    My husband’s ex found out her oldest was stealing from her. In fact all her savings. She has stage 4 cancer and she found out he hired a private investigator for the purpose of seeing if he could have her declared incompetent. He is a married professional with good income. She broke contact with him and did all the legal papers to protect herself. I told my oldest and his youngest to look out for my husband if something happens to me. My husband refuses to break off all contact with him.

  5. #5
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    Like Gardnr said, hire a legal professional to uphold your interests. I would specify an Elder Law Attorney with experience in your jurisdiction.

    frugal-one, I believe that if you let your Elder Law Atty know about your fears of what actions your son might take, the said Atty will outline a clear procedure to protect your interests.

  6. #6
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    The questions I raised as to whom to put for financial and medical powers of attorney. I don't expect anyone to take care of me but if there is a situation where I cannot make decisions for myself ... that is where the power of attorney comes in. Obviously, if my mate is alive they will make the proper decision. Since there are no other relatives or friends to ask ... it is a quandary.

  7. #7
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    There are lawyers who will serve these functions for you.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugal-one View Post
    The questions I raised as to whom to put for financial and medical powers of attorney. I don't expect anyone to take care of me but if there is a situation where I cannot make decisions for myself ... that is where the power of attorney comes in. Obviously, if my mate is alive they will make the proper decision. Since there are no other relatives or friends to ask ... it is a quandary.
    I suggest going to your nearest hospital that might provide your healthcare. Ask to speak to a social worker and see what they suggest? Perhaps there is documentation they can place in your medical record to backup your Living Will.

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