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Thread: I wonder if my illness is really obvious

  1. #1
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    I wonder if my illness is really obvious

    or if it is just my personality. But I have been 'fussed at' so much I am starting to get really frustrated. 'Fussed at' means someone following me around and asking me if I really want to do things a certain way, over and over. It also is the well meaning things like telling me how to do things. Maybe everyone can just tell I have an illness and so they treat me that way? Or my personality screams flakiness or un prepared ,..???

    At work we have a supervisor with us, apparently all summer, because my colleague is new. However since her first day at our site she has been 'fussing' at me. The most silly one was asking about my inhaler in front of everyone. I realize that was actually pretty bad, to question my ability to manage my own basic health care in front of my team. She has been asking if I really want to do things a certain way since day one. Now I have an assistant that was just hired, and last night she commented that she hears it all the time. I don't think that my colleague that is brand new is hearing it. Yesterday we did a fire drill and she was working in the other room but made sure she joined us, I just have started to say "I got this" more often.

    The thing is that this has happened in one way or another most of my life. I know my mom was always afraid I would run off with the Grateful Dead or something (doh, it would have been Black Flag). I give off an airy, ungrounded, playful energy I think. I also have taken care of all the practical stuff for a lot of things for my whole life. One incident that makes me think is when I was working at Target and managing the front lanes, we had a rush of customers so I called for backup. The store manager came up and was angry because I didn't get more worked up I think. I am not totally sure, but I called for back up calmly and people showed up and it was taken care of without panic. Somehow I didn't look like I was taking it seriously because I didn't behave like it was an emergency (actually I act that way in emergency). I also handled all the medical emergencies in the store that no one else was trained for, and with the same demeanor.

    Okay I am just going to take a shower and get to work and keep saying ' I got this"

  2. #2
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    or if it is just my personality. But I have been 'fussed at' so much I am starting to get really frustrated. 'Fussed at' means someone following me around and asking me if I really want to do things a certain way, over and over. It also is the well meaning things like telling me how to do things. Maybe everyone can just tell I have an illness and so they treat me that way? Or my personality screams flakiness or un prepared ,..???
    Is it possible that you are doing things in a way they don't want them done and this is the more subtle way of telling you that, instead of STOP AND DO IT THE WAY YOU WERE TOLD? The reason I say that is, over the years I've seen you in clashes with managers/supervisors who say you are insubordinate or document the hell out of what you are doing. There's only so many times that someone can gently steer you to the way they want it done, before they start to think you are intentionally being stubborn and defiant. I sometimes get the impression that you often think your way of doing things is "better" and you are going to do it that way despite being asked not to.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    I think that being "flaky" is definitely a real personality trait. This might be your defining trait.

    Like mine is being a disagreeable A-hole.

    The trick is to keep it mostly contained during business hours!

  4. #4
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Is it just a different point of view? Not sure why you would consider this part of an illness.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

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    Have you ever stopped and asked directly whether she wants it done differently, wants to know more about what you are doing, or whatever? I mean really stopped, turned around, and in a non-confrontational way acknowledged her inquiry or suggested discussing it at another time, if it is impacting important work right then? Does she have a lot of employees to supervise or are you one of the lucky few?

  6. #6
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Your jobs and bosses are the bane of your existence.

  7. #7
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    This is definitely a pattern, and i have been really working on stopping and making sure i am doing things correctly this time. I think I have been trying this one and off over the years, maybe this is just my big number one fault.

    For illness issues, the bipolar 2 behavior comes across badly at times. Other times I am super productive and fun to be around and witty, etc. I can also run on with ideas and not connect them well. I have been able to notice when people look confused or start to glaze over so i can adjust myself.

    Today was much better, I showed empathy and it was noticed. The plus side of my illness is that I have serious empathy and caring for people. I also saw that she was telling me tasks once instead of interrupting me to remind me multiple times. I am working on a project of sewing curtains that has been taking creativity to design and feel my brain is actually beneficial.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    ZG, your illness can be difficult to manage. I wish you the best.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    ZG, your illness can be difficult to manage. I wish you the best.
    Yes, and it can be very difficult too for those that need to interact with you -- such as colleagues and family.
    So mutual understanding -- all around -- can be helpful.

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