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Thread: Some issues at work

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    Some issues at work

    Yesterday, I was reprimanded for "being seen crying at my desk." I'm not talking about full out sobbing or even making a sound. I mean tears rolling down my face, briefly. As someone in another group once said, menopause is a never-ending fountain of tears. I also suffer from anxiety and depression. That said, I also have had one of the most stressful years of my life, and I'm the type of person who will cry when a friend loses a pet and I see it on social media, or if someone sends me a touching text. My 26-year-old (female) coworker went to our boss and said I'm "upsetting her and the students we work with." Funnily enough, not one single person reached out to ask me if I'm OK when they supposedly saw me crying. Do I just work with a bunch of cold hearted jerks or what? I seriously cannot help crying sometimes. I am considering getting an official diagnoses from a psychiatrist to put in my personnel file, so that this is recognized as a medical thing.

    There were other complaints from said coworker. Apparently she just held it all inside until we got our annual reviews and then let it all out in a flood to our boss. I'm thinking of applying to another department as soon as something opens up. Some of you may recall, I haven't ever really been happy in this job. However, I *thought* I had gotten to a point of acceptance...that it was as good as I could do under the circumstances. Now I'm wondering if I've sold myself short.

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    Please get a diagnosis from a psychiatrist so you cannot be railroaded. Menopause is such a difficult time for some. Mine was horrible and I think a different department would also be helpful.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    Please get a diagnosis from a psychiatrist so you cannot be railroaded. Menopause is such a difficult time for some. Mine was horrible and I think a different department would also be helpful.
    I always say, it could have been worse. My friend Kate had hot flashes that drenched her for years. I thought mine had stopped but the recent heat and humidity is triggering them (if that's even possible).

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    Yes, they are cold hearted, but stay off social media at work so you don't see sad things, and tell your friends to text you after hours.

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    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    So sorry you're going through this, frugalone. The co-worker sounds immature and inexperienced. No excuse, but maybe a reason. Your boss should have reached out to you in concern. Yes, I do think they're jerks, too. That being said, I hope you will see someone (gyno or your primary) for care and treatment as soon as you can. I can relate.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

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    Omg are you kidding that she complained, i have teary eyes from dry eye. Much better with eye drops now. I also have medication for depression that helps. Menopause is kicking it into high gear as well. So i would try eye drops too, i was surprised at how much eye drop helped because a lot of times i wasn't upset about anything but still teary

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    Please get a diagnosis from a psychiatrist so you cannot be railroaded.
    This is solid advice. I hope you do it and I hope you get protection.

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    In some ways it is unfortunate that we have to robotize ourselves at work.

    Crying is considered something too personal for work.

    I think of my work like acting. I go in there and act mostly normative. When I clock out I go back to being myself. It is just a performance. Pretend.

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    Thankfully if someone cried where I worked people were empathetic but it was human services after all. I have seen people set up in work places just because someone didn’t like them. Best to protect yourself.

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    Take your lunches to work. Pack onions and a knife.

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