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Thread: Some issues at work

  1. #11
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I said something once that apparently set off a co-worker. I just went back to work. I figured she didn't need someone bringing attention to her meltdown. I would never in a million years have reported her.

  2. #12
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    In some ways it is unfortunate that we have to robotize ourselves at work.

    Crying is considered something too personal for work.

    I think of my work like acting. I go in there and act mostly normative. When I clock out I go back to being myself. It is just a performance. Pretend.
    Bingo! This is how I survived so many years of waiting tables as an introvert. I'd punch in and become someone else - it was like I was going for an Academy Award of Best Portrayal of an Extrovert by an Introvert....and when I punched out, bingo, that very second I went back to being who I am. My point is that it was all a performance for me - I was not that person I was portraying myself to be. Rob

  3. #13
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    I see it as more strategic than robotic, saying the right things, not saying the wrong things, knowing when it's best to joke around and not etc. Because doing the work well might not be enough to keep the job.

    But am I so strategic in my non-career life? Well for most things I just don't care enough to be, people either like one or not etc. and much of the time not much hinges on it.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  4. #14
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    Luckily I always had jobs where I could be myself. When I retired and would go back to visit a bunch of people said they really missed my laugh.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    She said it bothered her "and others" and also complained about other things during her eval. This isn't really about your tears. Something else is afoot. Interesting that she is making her performance eval about you. I would ask how you feel that you have been treated by "the others". This reminds me so much of what I hated in managing in my previous job. I would not have even brought that passive aggressive ^&&^% up to you, I would have coached the complainer on how to work around her discomfort, then I would have checked in on you to make sure you were OK.
    I look at that as bully behavior and our group always seemed to need to have a scapegoat. Not on my watch!!

  6. #16
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simplemind View Post
    She said it bothered her "and others" and also complained about other things during her eval. This isn't really about your tears. Something else is afoot. Interesting that she is making her performance eval about you. I would ask how you feel that you have been treated by "the others". This reminds me so much of what I hated in managing in my previous job. I would not have even brought that passive aggressive ^&&^% up to you, I would have coached the complainer on how to work around her discomfort, then I would have checked in on you to make sure you were OK.
    I look at that as bully behavior and our group always seemed to need to have a scapegoat. Not on my watch!!
    great answer!

  7. #17
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    I cry at the drop of a hat too. Heck today I had tears streaming down my face at work. I was trying to talk in front of a group of visitors and swallowed wrong. One of those swallow, coughing fits, that turned to tears. I had to keep giving my speech though.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  8. #18
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    Crying is considered something too personal for work.
    I cry at work now-and-then. I see things that require it.

  9. #19
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    Plus one to Simplemind's response. Reporting someone for getting teary at their desk is cruel, unnecessary, and the opposite of team-building. If you see someone crying at work you either ignore them and give them some space or you quietly, gently, humbly offer support. I am sorry you were treated badly.

  10. #20
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Based on your post, it strikes me that this is not the co-worker that is inappropriate so much but the supervisor who is handling the situation inappropriately. Lack of training is a serious concern.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

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