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Thread: Admitting things to myself.

  1. #11
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    I'm with you on the entertaining guests thing.

    I was at a women's retreat once and the facilitator asked us what we wanted to "be"--what were our aspirations. So I said I wanted to be a good housekeeper, but I'm terrible at it. Her response was, "Do you want your house to be well-kept or do you want to be a good housekeeper"--I thought that was brilliant. Yet, I still haven't succumbed to getting cleaning help--I struggle through on an as-needed basis.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  2. #12
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    I'm with you on the entertaining guests thing.
    I go home to get away from people! Why would I want to bring them in here? LOL

  3. #13
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Me three! Count in Casa Rosa as another place where the party isn't!

  4. #14
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    When younger, I entertained, because I felt I had to. I don't these days. We're very solitary and like it that way. After decades of being "on show" and feeling like a performing seal all the time, it's a blessing to relax and just be myself. If folks don't like it? Well, too bad! I live and work at home, which makes this much, much easier. The friends I have do not require that I'm entertaining all the time. My old friends don't like me these days. And so what?

  5. #15
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    For a long time I had cleaners to scrub all the floors and bathrooms because I hated it. Now I am doing it myself again
    TT I swear we were separated at birth !!

  6. #16
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    That’s funny Simple!

  7. #17
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    As I mentioned in another thread, I admitted to myself that I hate cooking and I am never going to like it. So I made changes to do very little of it.
    I'm trying this recently as a diet, just eating very boring things, plain piece of fruit, plain baked potato or sweet potato, plain piece of fish etc., plain healthy food in unrefined form, not in a recipe, unspiced etc.. As a diet I can't say it's yet been hugely successful (but I'm within normal weight just obsessing over vanity pounds, and anyone's mileage may vary).

    But it did occur to me that regardless it was the solution to many problems! Too lazy to cook and tempted to turn to packaged food (although I don't do much of that anyway, but I think that cultural trend is there): eat a plain potato or a plain avocado or plain boiled egg or something Eat this plain stuff to hunger of course, not advocating eating one boiled egg a day or something And it will do the job of nourishing you. And maybe that's enough, unlike packaged food it actually is nourishing and healthy. And it's the reason that people turn to package food or restaurant food etc. right (well occasionally the later to socialize but leaving that aside) because they are fricken tired from the day, and I get it: fricken tired, the day is sometimes hard, sometimes the commutes long etc.! But it's really not necessary, only because people believe food should be fancy, plain boring food is healthy enough. So I'm not much of a housewife, well good that I'm not one.

    But actually I really can cook, I merely found interesting the liberation side of boring food that does little more than nourish. That turning to convenience for anything isn't necessary, if you are fine with boredom. It is also probably a way to reduce food waste. The exception is: I do think that completely non-starchy/non-sweet/non-fat veggies need a little work, lettuce needs a little dressing, greens like chard and kale need a bit of olive oil and garlic etc.. Because the body perceives these foods as so extremely boring (so low calorie) that one isn't going to eat them otherwise at all, one would as soon starve, which is about as many calories as these have plain anyway. But everything else is ok-ish plain.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  8. #18
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    I *have* succumbed to getting cleaning help, and it was a great decision. It's just once a month, but it makes SUCH a difference.

    I'm a borderline hoarder and have never been disciplined about cleaning, though I try try try.

    Having a cleaner coming once a month means I know that once a month the whole house gets "deep cleaned" and all the sheets get washed. Also, when my daughter and I come home on the day of the cleaning, it's a huge positive boost to our moods.

    I guess what I finally admitted to myself is that I'd rather eat out a little less and give up some other luxuries to have the luxury of a cleaner. And maybe one day I'll become disciplined about cleaning, but, in the meantime, I work on keeping the house tidy between cleanings and on decluttering.

    I think the big discovery was that I didn't have to punish myself for not being disciplined about cleaning or for not liking it. And I also like that my daughter doesn't have to be punished for it either. We still both do chores, but having the cleaner allows us to not feel a lot of pressure about keeping on top of all of it all the time. And also, it takes so much pressure off when people come over because I know things are sort of relatively clean. I used to avoid having people over because I was so overwhelmed by how dirty things were. Not a problem anymore.

  9. #19
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    Echase, when I worked full time I had monthly cleaners for decades. I often would plan inviting people for dinner to coincide with that. I even kept them for 6 years of retirement because I was still working part time. I only got rid of them when that job ended.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    When we were working we did all the cleaning and yardwork ourselves. The only break we had was when we left town on vacation. The big kick for me was cleaning our parents homes when we moved them out. OMG..... I'm claiming PTSD from those tasks. My mom had a framed quote in her pantry - "A clean house is a sign of a misspent life." She was what I called a casual housekeeper, as am I. I actually started to think back on when was the last time I remembered my parents home as a showplace to when it turned into banquet night at the Havisham's. She would have been about my current age. Oh the horror.
    I don't want it to slide into only being clean in the well worn pathways and having night circus play out in the corners and closets. We have been decluttering at an even faster pace the last couple of years. We really are fairly minimalist in comparison. We have sold a lot of our stuff right along with theirs.
    So now that we are retired we do even more with our yard which is substantial AND comes with a huge feeling of satisfaction that housework never does. So knowing that yardwork leaves us creaky and knowing that our eyesight and sense of smell are going to diminish in time and knowing that we never want our kids to have to bend over and closely inspect the periphery.... we are spending their inheritance on a deep cleaning team that comes in once a month. I love, love, love cleaning day. I don't want to leave the house for a week after they leave. I feel like I need to wear sunglasses. I wouldn't.. couldn't clean that thoroughly with a gun to my head.

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