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Thread: Letting a friend go

  1. #21
    Senior Member
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    This is sounding like a change in mental status that could have to do with early dementia - loss of mental filter etc. This is a new behavior after how many years?

  2. #22
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    Tammy I don’t think that is the case since he has ADD and can be annoying. He is socially inept at times. Plus this is a person I only see once or twice a month. My friend thinks it’s because he really wants to be married and have what I have.

  3. #23
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    I keep deciding not to weigh in because I am coming from a very different place, but perhaps a view from a different angle.

    you see this person once or twice a month and you have been friends for 15 years. The only friend I have in that category, I consider family. I can’t imagine not being able to discuss the situation. He has been “sweet and kind” for 15 years.

    then, he has two outbursts in the same month and he is “an abuser”?

    i would be calling him.

    ”hey, i’m really worried about you. The last couple of times you were out here, you didn’t seem yourself. My dogs upset you with behavior that happens all the time, and then apparently I upset you, and you threw a knife. Which I have to tell you really freaked me out. You know my history and that sort of thing is not ok. Is there something going on with you?”

    maybe he is not like family. Maybe you have tons of old friends and you see them all the time. But you might be his family, and he might need you.

  4. #24
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    CL, I really appreciate your perspective. I have a pattern of sometimes being friends with people that are needy and take way more than they ever give. These are people that my other friends would never consider. I am not sure why I do this. I have many close long time friends. I think I have PTSD from living with a very verbally and emotionally abusive husband for 22 years. I am actually now scared of him. I told my current husband when we first started living together that the second he ever started yelling or swearing at me to make sure he was packing at the same time. He never contacted me either time to apologize and I am frankly afraid. Even if he did I cannot deal with it. It’s emotional and not logical. Plus he was mean to my 2 little dogs all evening. Not hurting them but mean. My dogs mean the world to me.

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