Wedding shower rant

[iris lilies]

I can afford to go any place I want to attend a wedding but that is no reason for me to travel. At one point we had a friend who would probably get married in Korea so I considered that trip because being part of an Asian wedding would be cool. Our nephew has a Chinese girlfriend and he lives in China so maybe that will happen and maybe we would attend that, I don’t know.


Destination weddings are of no interest to me unless the place where they’re getting married is a place I want to vacation already.

[iris lilies]

I can afford to go any place I want to attend a wedding but that is no reason for me to travel. At one point we had a friend who would probably get married in Korea so I considered that trip because being part of an Asian wedding would be cool. Our nephew has a Chinese girlfriend and he lives in China so maybe that will happen and maybe we would attend that, I don’t know.


Destination weddings are of no interest to me unless the place where they’re getting married is a place I want to vacation already.

We had a slew of friends move out west, out in desert land, within the past few years. I waved to them bye-bye and said I’m sorry I won’t see you again because I am not coming out to desert land to visit you so sorry, love you, but hate that desert.


I won’t go out to the American
Iris society convention when it’s in So. California as it was this year because – desert.

[Teacher Terry]

We don’t go to out of town weddings but do travel to see family and friends.

[sweetana3]

To me being a guest at a destination wedding is just about being a prop to fill in the photos for the wedding party. Period. It is not about gathering family and friends to celebrate the marriage of two people but really two people who want fancy photos and a vacation somewhere else.

[Tybee]

To me being a guest at a destination wedding is just about being a prop to fill in the photos for the wedding party. Period. It is not about gathering family and friends to celebrate the marriage of two people but really two people who want fancy photos and a vacation somewhere else.

It felt to me that DH's niece was doing it to keep the poor relations away. . .

[ToomuchStuff]

This sounds like something that should be written to the editorial/opinion section of a paper.

[KayLR]

I'll just throw in here the fact that no one sends thank you notes either--after their specific requests for $$ or registries.

[saguaro]

On destination weddings:

It felt to me that DH's niece was doing it to keep the poor relations away. . .

DH's niece also had a destination wedding. It was obvious that it was a good excuse to have a vacation but it also had the added bonus of keeping crazy grandma away, which we heard from SIL was a concern.

Years ago, I agreed to be bridesmaid for a friend. She was planning to have a wedding locally but then went to visit her future MIL's house in another state. Future MIL offered to host the wedding at her home, a very nice mansion (friend's future in law family was very wealthy), the friend jumped at the offer. She came back stating that the plans had changed, which meant I was now having to make a several hundred mile trip, plus pay for an hotel stay, plus take time off from work, to stand up for this wedding. At the time, DH and I were struggling a bit financially but since the wedding was originally going to be local, I figured I could swing the cost of the dress and shoes. But now with extra costs, I had to back out. I simply could not afford it. I was not the only one in the party to do so, friend was not happy but then again, she changed the deal with very short notice (this was a very short engagement btw, like 2-3 months).

On showers:

When I got married, I had only one shower. Multiple showers were not typical, except one might have one at work with coworkers and one with family / friends or if there were some other circumstances such as having two sides of the family living in locations far apart from each other. When my cousin remarried several years after I did, someone threw her a shower. Cousin was a bit embarrassed because she had a shower with the first marriage plus both she and future DH had lived on their own for years. They had things but this was the DH's first marriage, so that was probably the rationale for another shower.

[Molly]

My niece was having a shower put on by her future MIL when she was engaged, and then my SIL asked me if I'd go in with her to put on another shower. I asked why, since she was already having a shower. SIL said, because that's how it's done today. I said she is already having a shower so the answer is no.

Then my SIL hit me up for a brunch following my niece's wedding. I told her that if I was going to spend money on anyone's wedding, it would be my own kids.

My husband and I are retirees and I'm tired of being asked to support these yuppie kids. We were yuppies once ourselves, but somehow we managed to pay our own way. These kids can do so too.

[Teacher Terry]

Wow Molly your SIL has a lot of nerve.