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Thread: Whose Cat Is It Anyway? A Cat Custody Story...Long

  1. #21
    Senior Member Geila's Avatar
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    If it was me, I would feel it was my turn to pay back Grandma B's kindness. I'm really impressed that the family has worked so hard to keep the cat out of the shelter. It sounds like they are trying their best to do right by Grandma B and by the cat. I think it's time for you to step up. You can afford the cost to fly the cat out and they are offering to do all they can to make it happen. If you feel that you can't afford the cost, look again until you find a way to afford it. I promise that you will feel better! Doing the right thing always pays off in the end. Also think about what a gift Grandma B gave you in willingly taking care of the cat for as long as she could so that you could pursue a better life for yourself, and think how happy she would be to know that the cat has a good home now that she can't take care of it anymore.

  2. #22
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    Talk to a shelter where the cat is now, and ask them about a rescue train. Thats where volunteers drive animals, sometimes even all rhe way across country, to their owners. Pilots and Paws is another option- people who have planes and like to fly, deliver pets to their owners. Then make a donation to the organization who brings you the cat.

  3. #23
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    Alternatively, they may know of someone who takes in senior cats.

  4. #24
    Senior Member SiouzQ.'s Avatar
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    Welp, I knew there would be a lot of differing opinions on this when I wrote the initial query. To set the record straight, the cat is not at a shelter at this point. She has been staying in a house owned by my ex-SIL catching mice for her. Apparently she is a good mouser. The house is being sold soon, and that is why this whole issue has come up.

    I do not have a lot of financial resources right now after putting the down payment on the house and finding out two days later that we have horrible leaks in the roof. Plus, we need some electrical and plumbing work work as well. I cannot just up and fly back to Michigan any time soon, seeing as I was just there two weeks ago. I have no vacation time left and we are going into the busy season and after that is over, it's another wrist surgery.

    So maybe some of you think I am being selfish? I am being realistic at this point. It doesn't mean that I am not trying to find some sort of solution. I called several places in Michigan today; got the cat put on one waiting list for a no-kill shelter and I am waiting to hear back from another. After running errands all over Santa Fe on my only day off, I haven't had any real time to pursue the animal transportation thing yet. I think crating up an animal and shipping it cross-country by itself sounds pretty cruel to me, since this cat HATES being in a carrier (and HATES to be picked up). I can't imagine putting that kind of stress on the poor thing. However, I won't rule it out. I just have to do my research.

    As I stated before, no one in that side of the family has contacted me about what was going on with the cat for almost a year. That is mostly why I feel like she is not really my cat anymore. There have been times in my life that I have had to leave pets behind, unfortunately. It was very difficult to leave my two cats behind with my ex, way back when my daughter was 6 months old and I had $300 to my name. I got over it. I have the survival instinct of being able to compartmentalize pretty well, whether that is a good or bad thing I don't know, but it is how I have mentally survived a lot crappy stuff in my life.

    I don't expect some of you to be able to understand this, but when resources and time are stretched thin, sometimes you have to make a difficult choice. If it somehow works out that I can get the cat out here, yes, that would be great, but in my heart I feel it would be better to find a home for her in Michigan.

  5. #25
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    Where I grew up in rural Ohio there were always lots of farmers who were happy to accept cats. Of course they lived in the barn, not in the house. I bet there’s farmers in Michigan who would take this cat in.

  6. #26
    Senior Member SiouzQ.'s Avatar
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    She's never been an outdoor cat...

  7. #27
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    One of the most stressful things I ever experienced with pets was traveling here with my two Siamese cats in a cage in the back of my car. The poor things were freaked out for weeks. I don't recommend that option just to assuage some guilty feelings. My opinion is not popular either but given all you have been through, I think you need to move on with your own life and not worry about what happens to the cat. Easier said than done but with time, the decision will just be a memory.

  8. #28
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    This story reminds me that no good deed goes unpunished. I feel sorry for grandma and the cat.

  9. #29
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    I think the cat and grandma have obviously been a good and needed blessing to each other so I don't feel sorry for them at all.

    SQ, you were back to MI 2 weeks ago and nothing was said. you are tied up now both in time and resources so I suggest that you tell ex-SIL the efforts that you have made and what you have discovered of the waiting list at the no-kill shelter. This cat has had a good life and, as a good mouser, will be valued as such. Time to set some self-care boundaries. You have done what you can.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  10. #30
    Senior Member SiouzQ.'s Avatar
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    New development: last night I contacted the original owner of Mouse on Instant Messenger (the guy who was being evicted so many years ago because he had cats; we've been "friends" on Facebook through my daughter for awhile). I asked him if he was in any position to be able to get his cat back after what, eight years? It turns out he is back living in Toledo (about an hour from Ann Arbor) and from what I gather is living in an apartment provided by his sister. He just has to ask her today if it is all right to have a cat; he's thrilled about the idea and thanked me profusely for seeing to her for so long.

    CROSS YOUR FINGERS FOR THIS TO HAPPEN! I won't say anything to ex-SIL until I know for sure. If it is a go, I will introduce them and let them arrange the custody transfer. This would be the BEST solution, coming full-circle back to her original owner!

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