Financial Anxiety Setting In Now

[SiouzQ.]

Buying and setting up a household from scratch is REALLY expensive and my credit card is burning up these days from use. In reality, my finances are okay and I am still within my upfront allotted amount and I am not going to go into credit card debt to pay for all this. I think what it is that as a money hoarder all my life, it's really hard to see my hard-earned and carefully saved money market savings account dwindle down to pay for: a washer-dryer combo, new beds, a cart for the kitchen, fixing the roof, buying curtain rods and curtains (a HUGE expense, as there are a LOT of windows and sliding glass doors which HAVE to be covered with heat-blocking drapes, otherwise the heat is pretty unbearable), a room air conditioner, plus paint and painting supplies and all the other sundry items, cleaning supplies and on and on.

I haven't been sleeping well lately and I wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking about everything, and while I am excited and having fun fixing up the house, it is also quite terrifying when I think about the money I've spent (which is the agreed upon amount of my share of the initial expenses). Basically, I have been a worry-wort about money my entire life and this is a usual response for me when I have to spend a lot. It happens when I have to buy a car, or any other large expense. A lot of these house expenses are a one-time thing anyway and I have to remind myself that I have been living rent and utility-free for the last three years and that allowed me to save up a lot of readily available cash.

I'm just venting out loud and voicing what worries me, rational or not. I need to know it is all going to be okay in the end because lately in the middle of the night I start in on the "what-if's" and that is where the anxiety starts.

[Tybee]

I really relate and sympathize. This is a big, big problem for me, too, and I get the middle the night wake's and resulting anxiety.

So far I have dealt with this by avoiding spending the money, but that is really not a good thing, either, and we've restricted our lives due to the anxiety it causes to make big change and spend big money.

Hopefully others have something more helpful to offer.

[catherine]

No, like Tybee, I also relate and can commiserate. We are trying to balance repairs and upkeep for TWO houses. And things keep cropping up. Our neighbor asked us to contribute $400 so that he can re-grade and lay new gravel down for our road. Since we are a community without an official HOA fee, I feel it's fair to throw money at "common good" expenses, but it was unexpected, and the same day our electric stove blew out, so we wound up buying a new stove for $450. Almost $1000 in one day. It does get discouraging.

I consider this year to be the year of stabilizing money wise, and after that, I'll really go pedal to the metal with no spending.

[razz]

This a common problem, I think.

I lived for so long on a very tight budget, I still panic when I spend. Recently I had to buy both black and colour ink for my very old printer. Even at a discount it costs over $40 each. I needed to upgrade the printer so badly and bought a new HP for $69 with all the features that I am needing. Logic prevailed but I struggled with the spending.

Thrift mode kicks in which helps balance the finances. It will balance you as well once the initial necessities are completed. Hang in there! It is worth it!

[Teacher Terry]

I don’t have that problem when it’s planned spending. When we bought our house 7 years ago we knew it was going to cost about 30k to fix it up before moving in. I didn’t have anxiety over it. When things break it sucks but I tend to just go with the flow.

[SiouzQ.]

I think some of it (or a lot of it) is the big lifestyle change coming up. All those years I dreamed of downsizing and escaping the mid-west, then I took the risk and did it successfully for three years. I learned to like living in such a small space and still like it but as the years go on the more claustrophobic it feels to live behind the gallery, especially in the summer when there are so many tourists around. There is little to no separation between work and home life and that is getting a little old. The new house is so big and spacious with tall ceilings and a lot of flow throughout the rooms; it feels very peaceful and really good to go over there and work on it

Another thing too is that I feel very different about things now that my daughter is gone. It's hard to explain, but part of it is that I now realize there are absolutely no guarantees in this life and I will not have an heir to pass my things and money onto (well, I did designate my nieces and great-niece as my beneficiaries on some of my accounts). I will never get to be a biological grandmother to a child. My sense of wanting to live to be a very old age has been waning and I feel like maybe I am starting to allow myself to enjoy the here and now more. My wanderlust has been dampened a little bit, probably due to all the surgeries and recovery periods. I think what it is too is the feeling of wanting to put down roots again and have a home base, one that I can create and nurture in my own vision.

So much change!

[Teacher Terry]

It’s important to me to own my house and for it to reflect who I am and be enjoyable to be in. I will never be a biological grandma either. My step son may have kids and then I will be a grandma. My BF that lost her daughter said it changed everything. Luckily she has another daughter and 3 grandchildren.

[Tybee]

It sounds like you are truly entering a new phase of life, and that is always scary. Good for you for having the courage to move forward and make your best life in the new house.

[Yppej]

I am the same way. One time I bought a new car and the salesman remarked that I didn't seem excited. I replied, "I'm thinking of all the money I spent." But the sticker wears away over time.

[nswef]

SiouzQ, You have had massive changes this year. the loss of your daughter and then the horrible pain of surgeries on top of that loss....Living each day and enjoying it isn't easy when your heart is broken. Give yourself permission to do whatever you need and want to do. The money will settle out. Try to breathe. The new home sounds lovely and you will make it wonderful.