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Thread: Vegetarian men: Seen as less manly, but more ethical. Your thoughts?

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Vegetarian men: Seen as less manly, but more ethical. Your thoughts?

    I read some articles about how vegetarian men are viewed. And a common theme was that vegetarian men are seen, by women in particular, as being simultaneously less masculine but more ethical.

    Thoughts?

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    Senior Member Rogar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    I read some articles about how vegetarian men are viewed. And a common theme was that vegetarian men are seen, by women in particular, as being simultaneously less masculine but more ethical.

    Thoughts?
    Being a vegan myself I find that women who think of that group being less masculine are generally not worth knowing.

    (Edit) Maybe the more obvious issue is that men think of vegetarian men are less masculine. They probably aren't worth knowing either. However, I'm probably not a pure vegan because I make a few exceptions for wild game and hunt a few game birds in season. So I can shoot a gun just like other real men.

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    I have many vegetarian male friends, being in the Buddhist and meditative community. It can be hard for them. One man I met said that although he teaches kids in a Buddhist center on Sundays he cannot stop eating meat or drinking alcohol because of his work. He is a contractor and feels he would lose credibility with the men he works with if he was vegetarian or chose not to have a beer with them. My one good friend who is in his 30's and has been a meditator and vegetarian for a long time says he has found ways to downplay it. I do that too. You can order vegetarian off almost any menu and most of the time not bring attention to it. He works in financial services so he does not feel as much pressure with work, but friendships come up. He is the only male vegetarian he knows outside our sangha. Other men I know have been doing this a long time and are teachers to some extent in the Buddhist community so it is very normal. Overall men in their 60's and 70's who have been vegetarian for decades are not the norm.

    I know that going home to family is the hardest, and my friends report it is with male family members. Either choosing different food or passing on fishing together. That is where I have had the most issues. I got grief from my mom and my dad, but I have not heard anyone getting grief from women in their family or otherwise. Maybe it doesn't affect them as much as the responses from men.

    Vegetarians, actually vegans, are more hated than athiests apparently. So not surprised it is negative.

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post

    Vegetarians, actually vegans, are more hated than athiests apparently. So not surprised it is negative.
    Whoa!

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    I will say women always seemed more impressed by my ability to catch tons of big fish than by my ability to roll chapatis.

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    I'm always surprised by this, but maybe it's so. We just went to a party, and my husband, who has been a vegetarian for years but used to eat meat at social gatherings until he became literally allergic to it (anaphylaxis, no less) was minding his own business and the hostess reminded herself that he couldn't;t eat meat, and another guest very aggressively said, "Can't, or won't". We're still laughing about it.

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    I don't prefer super masculine men or men who aspire to be so. they are the suck to date. I just want a man at home in his own skin and at home with his own anima (yea a woman is probably better off dating men from other cultures for this, American culture's masculinity, I don't even know). Ok I have that anyway. But yes I suppose vegetarianism might sometimes be socially awkward, and with coworkers etc. depending. I wouldn't think vegetarian women would have much problem with vegetarian men, it would probably be: cool, we can eat the same foods.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

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    So my strongest reaction was “you make chapatis?! Like, from scratch?!”

    we know now a lot of couples in “mixed marriages” which gender is the vegetarian/vegan is about evenly split.

    the only man I know who gets mocked for it is my son in law. My Dad calls us both “vegetables” instead of vegetarians, but my dad is an ass. He has a really hard time relating to my sil anyway because sil has a lot of traditionally feminine traits (despite being 6’ 3” and bearded). When Dd has a baby and sil quits his teaching job to be a sahd, my father’s head will probably explode.

    i don’t know if Dd sees him as less “manly” but she clearly sees him as what she wants.

    my husband rides him a little, but it is good natured - he rides me too. We shoot back.

    i sympathize with you contractor friend zoegirl. Dd is in construction and AA. She says it really helps that she is a girl.

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    So my strongest reaction was “you make chapatis?! Like, from scratch?!”
    One of the few things I can actually make! lol

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    I don't prefer super masculine men or men who aspire to be so.
    I think some women truly prefer "beta males."

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