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Thread: Suicide Rates Up in Rural America

  1. #31
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    Also, it’s lovely if your friend had a nice clean exit that didn’t damage or destroy the people around him, but that is rarely the case.
    My technical rescue team helps the coroner move all the bodies on the island, and helps him gather forensic evidence. It's a bit horrid at times. Even when people are tying to arrange "a nice clean exit", they rarely manage it.

    Suicide causes mental trauma for first responders and all the other folks who have to clean up the mess.

  2. #32
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    I think taking too many pills would be preferable to rotting in a nursing home. But I get it that leaking bodily fluids is not pretty.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    I think taking too many pills would be preferable to rotting in a nursing home. But I get it that leaking bodily fluids is not pretty.

    I have really come to change my opinion about nursing homes, now that my parents have been in two of them over the past 21 months.

    At home on their farm, Dad was definitely talking about suicide, and hinted that if he got Mom out of the nursing home that that would be their end, although it would have been more a homicide suicide situation. I think he was trying to die there, given the fact that they weren't even eating at the end.

    Now, he is quite happy where they are, enjoying going down to meals and making new friends, watching the boats sail by, and talking about getting a library card. He spends time with his children, his grandson, and his great granddaughters come to visit.

    And yes, he has cancer in remission, and he is incontinent, and he struggles to walk with a walker--but he is back to life, there in the nursing home.

    So I don't think now what I thought of nursing homes, and I don't suicide would have been a preferable end for him.

  4. #34
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Nursing homes can be wonderful solutions for situations requiring extra care. The greatest need is for a wise independent advocate for the resident whether family or friend who is responsible and attentive monitoring the care.

    To the point in the OP, when people feel helpless due to circumstances beyond their control and best efforts like trade wars, politicking decisions without thought of those impacted, despair sets it and suicide seems an option.

    I remember a time when New Zealand was in a severe financial stress. Our PM at the time, Brian Mulroney, decided to allow unlimited amounts of cheap NZ lamb to flood the Canadian market for a few years. Canadian sheep farmers who had farmed successfully for years were sent into bankruptcy because their lambs were being produced but the price received would not cover even the cost of transporting them to market never mind all the farming expenses. Farmers cannot simply stop growing crops or animals to instantly convert to other sources of revenue. Some farmers in the US now are in those or very similar circumstances now through no fault of their own.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  5. #35
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    Farmers cannot simply stop growing crops or animals to instantly convert to other sources of revenue. Some farmers in the US now are in those or very similar circumstances now through no fault of their own.
    That's right... I know dairy farmers are having a tough time now. I live in an area where there are quite a few dairy farmers.

    I always become sad when people commit suicide because of money issues. People who feel they are unable to support their family; people whose identity is lost because they lost their jobs. I would hope that if my source of revenue disappeared tomorrow I would never become so despondent that I would want to kill myself.

    My uncle used to say "Money: it's only a means of exchange." But in this culture, it's not just a means of exchange: it's status, identity, and power. Lack of money is a such a meaningless reason for despair. I've BTDT, and I know that "money comes and money goes" (I actually hate that frequent proclamation of my DH, but it applies here). Human beings should live in a society where we are valued for just being who we are, regardless of how much money we have.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    Even when people are tying to arrange "a nice clean exit", they rarely manage it.

    Suicide causes mental trauma for first responders and all the other folks who have to clean up the mess.
    No offense, but if I have cancer of the everything I am checking out -- mess or not.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    Nursing homes can be wonderful solutions for situations requiring extra care.
    Uh... have you ever been to a nursing home?

  8. #38
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    No offense, but if I have cancer of the everything I am checking out -- mess or not.
    I have a set of guidelines for how to do so without greatly impacting those left behind.

  9. #39
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    I’ve been to lots of them. starting every Sunday at age 9. Most of them were mostly awful.

    dh’s grandfather though, was in a really nice place. I wouldn’t want to be there because it was full of people living close together and social events, but he really enjoyed it until the last month or so, when he wasn’t able to enjoy much of anything. My step grandmother was in a less “nice” place, but it had a good library and dead-end hall clusters that discouraged random traffic. her private “room” (bed, bath, and semi-separate living area with kitchenette) was nicer than my reasonably comfortable college dorm experiences, and she enjoyed visitors and was allowed to just hang out in her own digs and eat meals alone as much as she liked.

  10. #40
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    The people I have known in nursing homes were very miserable. The last one was my good friend with early Alzheimer’s. I was so happy when her cancer came back and as her guardian I didn’t treat it. She lived 18 months there and although I loved her dearly I was relieved when she died. If her husband hadn’t died and she had been at home she would have still been happy. Maybe better if you can afford a private room. No privacy and every part of your life micromanaged. Luckily if I don’t take my HBP and heart medications for a few days it quickly goes into the dangerous range. I would just stop taking them.

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