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Thread: Update on guy friends

  1. #1
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    Update on guy friends

    Well it has been an interesting couple of days. I have a good friend D, who I adore and it is totally a friend thing. Okay I do probably like him more but I am fine with friends. He called me on Friday to meet at the First Friday art walk. Even with 2 fairs I said yes. I had so much fun. It was a grownup thing for me, but he did question that since I was wearing a unicorn baseball cap. He is this interesting mix of noticing little things like how my hair looks and not giving off any romantic vibes.

    Then there is J. He called and left me a message about going hiking today and also said he hoped I was having a good fair. Um, I was very confused. If he knew I was working a fair then why ask me to hike? After the fair I texted him and said I was going to meditation.

    I got to meditation and D walks in, very cool. We chatted for awhile and then sat. Sometime in the middle J comes in after hiking apparently. In the announcement time D asked kif anyone was willing to share any resources on a topic and J raised his hand to answer and talk at the end. So now they are connected. At the end of meditation I talk to D, he remembers that I go to work early and I say I am going to leave right away. Then J comes over for a hug, and I give him one with lots of space. During that D catches my eye with a little smile, he could see some of the dynamic. J who is about 20 years older obviously feels different about me than I do about him. I left them talking about the topic in common.

    In any case it was an interesting moment. I am going to make time to talk directly to J on Monday or Tuesday since he told me he is attracted to me and I want be clear that I don't share his affection.

  2. #2
    Senior Member beckyliz's Avatar
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    "As the sands through the hourglass..." ZG, this could get sticky!
    "Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But accumulate for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, your heart is also." Jesus

  3. #3
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    Well it worked out. I knew I had to talk to J on Tuesday like I said. I actually asked D for advice on how to do this well. I called J and he was great, he started by saying that he realized that he had been calling me when I clearly said Tuesday. I was able to say this was uncomfortable because I literally do not have the time available that he is talking about and it was bothering me. So we didn't even need to address the attraction directly.

    Following. Up i feel angry, I never gave any feedback that I was interested at all to encourage this.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    I don’t think you should be angry. He was attracted and tried to let you know. You can be flattered and not interested. Maybe you can reframe it and your anger will disappear.

  5. #5
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    testing response!

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