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Thread: Mom and her stuff

  1. #21
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for the words of support and the sharing of experiences. Tybee, I will check to see what type of POA I have. I think the input on this thread will give me the impetus to cull at least another bag of clothing while she is staying at her friend's house. She has some items that are dated or otherwise unflattering that should go, especially since she has so many beautiful things that look really good on her. She is actually grateful if I tell her something is unflattering, so I'll try to think of this as a little bit of proactive vetting.
    The best thing is that sister and I are best friends and on the same page about Mom, and we share the same values and ideas on end of life care as Mom. Sister is an RN, and she says she will move in with Mom when that becomes necessary, but we just keep playing things by ear as we go along. Any decluttering we do now will certainly be helpful if sister does end up moving in.

  2. #22
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I spent several hours at Mom's on Monday, and Sis & I spent several more yesterday. We culled another bag of clothes for donation and a second bag for fabric recycling, as well as a few other miscellaneous items and a bag of trash. We are vacuuming, dusting and organizing as we go along. We struggle with the conflict between putting things away (to reduce dust, clutter and confusion) and concern that we are "hiding" them (I know some of the things Mom does are actually her strategies to allow her to function).
    I have noticed that I get distracted and overwhelmed amidst her clutter, so it's definitely not an optimal environment for living with Alzheimer's!

  3. #23
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    Wow, that was a big ask for someone who was not family.

  4. #24
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    So so hard when the mind goes. I truly feel for everyone dealing with a family member who has Alz. It's so fortunate that you and your sister are close and able to communicate so well.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Rachel, I think when you are mad that you are dying and can’t take care of your wife you are desperate to solve the problem in your own best interests without thinking of others. I have never seen anyone that was dying stay so angry and he took it out on his family and friends. It was sad.

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