Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Getting There, Finally!

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    184

    Getting There, Finally!

    I am a "recovering" hoarder. I have PTSD, most hoarders have another diagnosis, that's mine. The woman who was my caretaker as a young child was an abusive alcoholic.

    Given all that, for most of my life, I've gotten panic attacks when my space was tidy. For the last ten years or so, that's wake up in the middle of the night cold sweats, crying, screaming panic attacks. For many years, around 40, I had no idea that the reason it was so hard to clean and keep my house clean was that I panicked when I did. Trying to do anything while panicking is d*amned difficult! And because PTSD is an anxiety disorder, for a long time i didn't connect the dots. I didn't "see" the panic attacks were related to a clean house, I just knew I was having another one, now.

    A few months ago, I put what I knew about myself together with other data: it takes about 90 days to affect a behavioral change. That's the reason that AA and other programs are all set up to work for 90 days. So I decided to try combining those to see if I couldn't change or eliminate the panic attacks?

    I got sidetracked because of DH first being on travel and then hurting himself.

    However? It seems to have worked! For the first time in my life I can live in, work on, etc. a tidy space and it doesn't wake me up in a cold sweat. I don't look at the space and start shaking, or I find some reason, any reason (!) to mess up the space again. I don't have nightmares of the house being broken into, being laughed at because of what's here, etc.

    I can't tell you how welcome this is. I am officially a senior citizen these days and it's a relief to finally be able to move in this direction without dredging up my kid crap!!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    3,000
    Fantastic.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    8,406
    It does take 90 days for a change to work. A huge congratulations!!!

  4. #4
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    SW Washington State
    Posts
    1,932
    I'm happy for you that you've found a peaceful place. May it continue!
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

  5. #5
    Senior Member beckyliz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Topeka, KS
    Posts
    512
    Wow! That is impressive. Good for you!
    "Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But accumulate for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, your heart is also." Jesus

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    1,321
    Congratulations on the progress - may it continue for you!
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi

    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. - Dalai Lama

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    3,276
    Excellent!

  8. #8
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    15,262
    new Gig, that’s a heavy burden to carry: fear of a decluttered space but desire to declutter.

  9. #9
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Saint Paul, Minnesota
    Posts
    5,583
    Good for you, NewGig!
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

  10. #10
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    8,406
    I hope Chicken lady sees this. It might be helpful for her. I do miss hearing about her little farm and progress on her house.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •