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Thread: Why am I the only one?

  1. #11
    Senior Member SiouzQ.'s Avatar
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    This is my boyfriend exactly. I have come to believe he truly just does not see or it just does not register that there are crumbs all over the counter and egg drips all over the stove after he makes breakfast. He is much more of a slob than I am, and I knew that when we decided to buy a house together. I am "training" him and he is trying. Just getting him to remember to recycle is a battle being won slowly, but surely. I still have to pick through the recycle bins to throw away plastic that can't be recycled - I do have him checking for the recycle symbol on the back and it is working about 50% of the time, but that is major progress compared to when he lived alone (he never recycled anything)!

    My other pet peeve is the crud that is left in the sink drainer thingy - I am of the practice that when one cleans up the kitchen after a meal, that includes getting the little food bits out that cling to the strainer at the bottom of the sink; if you don't, they just dry up and clog the filter and then the water stops draining!

    My theory is that in his work life he has to concentrate very hard on detailed lines of computer code, so when he comes home, his brain is just too tired to register the kind of details like crumbs and spills. And in his defense he does a lot around the house that I cannot do at this point because of my bad wrists - he chops the wood, fills up the cistern, changes the propane tank, etc. It all evens out in the end anyway; I keep the kitchen and bathroom clean, and do most of the vacuuming. We trade on doing the dishes - if one cooks, the other does the clean up. There have only been a few times that I feel a little aggravated about something and I will tell him and he does try to change, but it is sometimes like pulling teeth to get someone to change a long-standing habit. All in all, he is such a keeper in all other respects and we are still having fun making a home together after these first five months!

  2. #12
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    My husband was raised by a wonderful woman but her house was dirty and disgusting. He doesn’t see messes and they don’t bother him. If he was alone I am sure he would live the same way.

  3. #13
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    There are elves around here that change automobile oil, take care of vehicle licensing, pay taxes, pay all bills, change furnace filters, etc etc, things I have never done in 30+ years.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    My husband does all the car and home maintenance. Plus he has remodeled the homes we have lived in. He can do things that I cannot.

  5. #15
    Senior Member kib's Avatar
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    Oh I just discovered him a few months ago! The BEST, hearing a straight up condemnation of s***y husbands - from a s***y ex husband.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by SiouzQ. View Post
    My other pet peeve is the crud that is left in the sink drainer thingy - I am of the practice that when one cleans up the kitchen after a meal, that includes getting the little food bits out that cling to the strainer at the bottom of the sink; if you don't, they just dry up and clog the filter and then the water stops draining!
    YES! And we have had this discussion to no avail! He told me he hates it when I leave my teabag in the cup on the counter. I no longer do that. I told him I hate it when he washes a dish/dishes and doesn't clean the drain strainer. He doesn't do it. Doesn't clean the shower drain strainer either.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi

    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. - Dalai Lama

  7. #17
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    There are elves around here that change automobile oil, take care of vehicle licensing, pay taxes, pay all bills, change furnace filters, etc etc, things I have never done in 30+ years.
    When DW retires, I will be retiring as househusband. We'll split the housework, but I dare say DW is completely unaware of how much is done in this house today without any intervention or thought on her part. It'll make retired life interesting...
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

  8. #18
    Senior Member kib's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteveinMN View Post
    When DW retires, I will be retiring as househusband. We'll split the housework, but I dare say DW is completely unaware of how much is done in this house today without any intervention or thought on her part. It'll make retired life interesting...
    This is actually true, and I know I don't realize that he really sometimes Doesn't Know. I got a retroactive thank you the other day. DH remarked that the floor was filthy - and furry - what the heck had happened to our cats? What happened was that I was in Bisbee and no house elves swept or mopped or vacuumed for a week.

  9. #19
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    In our household SO just doesn't prioritize the same things I do. For him a dirty counter, or yesterday's pants sitting on the living room chair are just a normal part of life. And visiting his mom's house I understand how this is the case... But I put up with it because I didn't pick him for his housekeeping skills, I picked him because he's mostly a joy to spend time with.

  10. #20
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    We started out as roommates, not involved otherwise. So we split the chores and the money. These days he makes most of the money, I do most of the cooking and the cleaning gets done, more often by me, but not entirely.

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