Originally Posted by
Chicken lady
I watched it, but the sound didn’t work, so I turned the subtitles on. *I* find that very dark. But I suppose I accept life as it is in the sense that I affirm that it is so, but I do not accept life as it is in the sense that I am willing to settle for what is. I’m more of an ant-rubber tree plant type. Except I’m an ant who says “well, this probably isn’t going to work.” And then does it anyway.
TT, there is a difference between depression and sadness. Even deep and lasting sadness. You can be happy and sad at the same time too. I would not want to be any kind of happy that was based in denial.
yesterday I had a student who I know is struggling with some home stuff and who normally has excellent personal hygiene arrive very unshowered. They said they had to leave early, and when the other kids, who like them very much, asked why, they said “for reasons. To do stuff.” Which was very out of character for them. I picked up with an airy “people to see, places to go, things to do...” and transitioned to the lesson. I have already let this student know that I understand that their situation will affect their work and I am happy to work with them and to please let me know if they need anything. So, all could think to do was send them a quick note last night about what they missed with a small bit of humor in it. I got back “LOL. Good to know.” So for that moment, I was happy.
I am still sad about their struggle, but it doesn’t mean we can’t laugh together. That I don’t enjoy their company and our interactions. I cry at home a lot because the momentary positives are over and I know the suckiness remains. And then I am drained and I sleep. When I have another thing to do - like the note - I do that instead of crying. Crying is not useful, so I “save” it for when I don’t feel I can be useful.
pushing on the rubber tree “gets me out of bed in the morning”. *Because* I find it’s location unbearable. If I believed it was ok to just settle for the world as it is, *Then* I would probably become depressed. Then I would be living in the man of lamancha’s world of despair.
my initial post is dark because it is a postcard from a visit there. - this is bad and right now I see nowhere to push, send lawyers guns and money.....