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Thread: This is dark and possibly upsetting

  1. #101
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    I choose B.

    actually, most days my job feeds my soul more than anything else in my life. Not because my life is barren, because my job is rich.

    IL. You have a good point about my posts here. As I mentioned earlier in this thread, my reasons for making those posts are poor, it has taken me this long to come to that realization, and I will not do it any more.
    And, please consider what I see as a bigger point: perhaps you NEED an outlet to talk about your pain. The group here is no use yet your pain gives some of them pain. That is fine, we are strong, but what about your immediate circle of family and friends? Do they also suffer your pain while having none of the tools you say you need?

    You say you don’t want to artificially lessen your pain at the state of the world. Ok, fine, it is your life and your choice, but what about them?

    see, to me, this is another reason to develop an effective therapeutic relationship with a professional. It relieves those around you from ineffectively “helping” you and being frustrated and hurt in the process. Those therapists are PAID to take that abuse, haha.

  2. #102
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    IL, all excellent points. I also think it’s hard on her husband.

  3. #103
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    today was joy.

    and the joy is well worth it. I can find pain anywhere. It’s plentiful.

  4. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    today was joy.

    and the joy is well worth it. I can find pain anywhere. It’s plentiful.
    You can find joy anywhere as well. It, too, is plentiful. I guess it is the old question "Do you see the glass as half full or half empty?".
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  5. #105
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    In my household we have an engineer “50% too much glass.” And a mom “who left this glass here?”

  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    In my household we have an engineer “50% too much glass.” And a mom “who left this glass here?”
    LOL. Cute.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  7. #107
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happystuff View Post
    You can find joy anywhere as well. It, too, is plentiful. I guess it is the old question "Do you see the glass as half full or half empty?".
    I had a bit of a "spiritual awakening" in high school, because my childhood was so rough and joyless. But when I was 12 and my alcoholic father left, my mother remarried and we started having a normal family life, for me it was like waking up feeling well after a long, painful illness--it was that kind of joy. I remember writing in my diary about all the things I loved about life "I even love hating homework because hate is a part of life and I love life!" So in order to embrace life, we have to embrace all sides if it. It's not an either/or.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  8. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    I had a bit of a "spiritual awakening" in high school, because my childhood was so rough and joyless. But when I was 12 and my alcoholic father left, my mother remarried and we started having a normal family life. For me it was like waking up feeling well after a long, painful illness--it was that kind of joy. I remember writing in my diary about all the things I loved about life "I even love hating homework because hate is a part of life and I love life!" So in order to embrace life, we have to embrace all sides if it. It's not an either/or.
    Oh so true. Thursday a friend of mine and her husband learned that his abdomen is full of cancer. No surgery for the primary colon cancer. No treatment to cure it. They have opted to take each moment life gives them together for the remainder of his days. To embrace their love, the joy they can make together. They've invited all their children to come when and as often as they can fit it into their own lives without expectations. She has already expressed to him, that she wouldn't trade the life they've had together, including the cancer, for any other life in the world.

    I so support them in this outlook. I had shared with her that even just 5d before Mom died, we had laughter. The memories we made while I cared for Mom as she was moving closer to death, are what I hold with me. Death was a moment-a painful moment, but the life we made together? Priceless. Her attitude was everything.
    The same was true when Dad was dying. Although I was just 33yo and far too young to bury him, we had many wonderful family meals and I have a favorite photo of Mom's birthday dinner where everyone is laughing, including Dad. Really? This man is dying? No stranger would know that.

    Life IS what we make it. We can be joyous. It is a choice. We can make a difference for this one and rejoice. Yes, it really is that simple.

    I am only 58yo. I will ever be grateful to have learned this from my Dad when I was just 33yo. That carried into my career as a RN. I know I made a difference.

  9. #109
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    "Life IS what we make it. We can be joyous. It is a choice. We can make a difference for this one and rejoice. Yes, it really is that simple."


    That sounds like Viktor Frankl's philosophy--that you can take any circumstance, no matter how daunting, and turn it to your advantage, as he did in the German concentration camps.

    "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." --Viktor E. Frankl

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    "Life IS what we make it. We can be joyous. It is a choice. We can make a difference for this one and rejoice. Yes, it really is that simple."


    That sounds like Viktor Frankl's philosophy--that you can take any circumstance, no matter how daunting, and turn it to your advantage, as he did in the German concentration camps.

    "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." --Viktor E. Frankl
    I did read him when I was in my 20s. Perhaps that era is when Dad and Mom got their attitude. They survived WW2 near Rotterdam-they were adults already but didn't marry until '48. It was horrid.

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