You cannot fix the underlying causes of the pain in the world. You can only change your reaction to it. You could try Buddhism which focuses a lot on coming to terms with suffering.
I agree that Buddhism could be a good tool for Yppej's reason. I was going to say that one of my favorite tools when I get hung up and anxious is the phrase "Detach yourself from the results." Our impact that we make on our life journey can't always be measured but us or anyone. There's no "balancing the scales"--CL, you probably will never know how much your life has positively impacted the lives of thousands of people. That's OK. But as others have said, it's only you who can the thinking that is holding you down.
"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
www.silententry.wordpress.com
I believe that I can fix some of the underlying causes of some pain in the world.
i do not hurt because I am bad at it. I hurt because I believe I can be better at it. The tools I want are how to learn to be better at it, not how to stop caring if I am making progress.
I also do not want to be made to believe that I cannot be better at it, which would be either unbelievably arrogant (I am already the best) or a further blow to my self image (sorry, this really is all you will ever be capable of) although the extinction of hope would probably reduce the pain. I’m just not sure about the side effects - so I would probably make a poor Buddhist.
i want “here is the Trevor project to put on your classroom wall.” “These are interventions that are working, here is a really effective place to apply energy....”
when I talk about my weight, which is causing pain in my knee and hip, most of you offer a bunch of suggestions about diet and exercise and even though we all agree that there is variation in what works for individual people, there is a huge variety of ideas. Very few people say “take painkillers or get used to the pain.”
the primary problem I am trying to solve is not the pain, it is the weight. If I can solve the weight, I believe the pain will go away.
if I can achieve a sense of progress, I feel like the pain will get better.
Therapy doesn’t fix you. There can be 10 people with the same problem and they will each have a different solution. The therapist gives you the tools and helps you find your own solution. Twice in my life a great therapist has helped me. People don’t change until the pain of staying the same is more than the pain of changing.
Buddhism is not just about detaching from your pain, but learning to extend compassion to others in effective ways. Sometimes it is just being there. In the West we are focused on doing not being. It seems you are trapped in this mindset that you must have a big list of things you can do to solve problems. But sometimes you have to learn the humility to admit you are not the heroine who can fix everything and that's okay.
Well you can not single handedly prevent every young person from committing suicide. How do you want to prevent them from doing so? How do you see it as possible? Because even if you were their parent, even parents sometimes can't and they are with them more than you are. Even therapists sometimes can't. So I don't think you can as a teacher.
Have you taken courses on how therapists/social workers deal with the pain of losing clients to suicide etc.? Because that's where the direct guidance might be, in people who deal with suicidal patients every day for a living (really though it affects them too, they experience burn out, social worker burnout is a real thing). But I imagine they have some training, and there is probably even information on the type of burnout they experience in helping others. See ha, I'm not saying go to a therapist, but maybe you could learn from what therapists and social workers KNOW in dealing with their clients and living to help another day, if you haven't already - take classes, learn about the subject maybe etc..
Why do you think so many young people are killing themselves? If you think the causes are social/political you could try political activism, honestly that sounds closer to what you might be seeking then therapy. It will make you feel less alone in confronting social problems as it is people coming together to change society, it's not trying to change it all alone. And it is quite possible the problems are much bigger than can be solved in the classroom, they are social and political problems.
I have a very low opinion of therapy (having had plenty), but hey if you wanted to try therapy I would not discourage it since I think it's as personal a matter as there can be, but clearly you don't much want to either, and that's ok.
Trees don't grow on money
Chicken Lady first hugs.
I can tell you from personnel experience that the things IL, Razz and all the others are telling
you would help. Not help that makes you ignore the world but help that helps you deal
with your feelings about it.
Eight years ago at 64 I lost my husband (been with him since I was 15), my best women friend ever,
(a friend like a sister of 42 years). Since then a sister, a life long friend, and many more.
I had always thought I was the person who could put on the smile and go on....Ms Strong.
The sadness was overwhelming but, being old school I thought I Should Just Get Over It.
Four years ago I realized with some help for my Dd that I was coping but, not thriving, I
was pushing people away from me. I realized I couldn't stand being sad anymore and had
gone to angry and becoming bitter about life and the world.
At 68 I ask my doctor and she sent me to the therapist, NO drugs were suggested just talk.
It was the best thing I ever did. I learnt how some of my thinking was flawed and how to
react differently. I went for a year and would go back in a minute if I start feeling that anger again.
I did not learn to not care, I did not learn to stop trying to be of use to people or
bury my feelings. I think it has been just the opposite.
The biggest thing I took away was to not always say I Should be/do a certain thing, or
the world Should be/do a certain thing.
Sorry this is so long I am not always good at writing things,.
And, I think it is like the weight you need to learn about all the tools that are available
and then find which works for you. It too will be trial and error, but worth the effort.
Of course you might be able to do more for the world but, it is a big relief to accept
you can't do it all!
The world has always been a cruel place, only the circumstances change. You can find your own windmills to tilt at, but even Mother Teresa became disheartened. I understand a lot of people are feeling hopeless these days.
The problem seems to be depression, rather than the state of the world--and depression can be intractable. There probably are various actions that would help, if you had the psychic energy to hunt them down. I'm sorry you're struggling.
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