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Thread: Life rhythm

  1. #1
    Senior Member Geila's Avatar
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    Life's rhythm

    I recently had a conversation with a friend that left me amused. She's a workaholic (in her 70's with no plans to retire) and expressed her concern of me becoming a vegetable because I'm "not doing anything" with my life (in my 50's and retired). I laughed and told her not to worry about me. I'm enjoying my life - I say that's enough for me!~ I've done all the things - the working hard jobs for too many years, the helping others on mission trips and volunteer work, the learning, the growing... I've done it all. When I was growing up I dreamed of being special and doing great things. Now I'm happy being average and living this life that is uniquely mine.

    Last year I joined a group to be more social (you know, cause they keep badgering about social connected people being happier and healthier) and I was out there doing stuff with people, going here and there. And after a couple of months, I missed my life. I missed sitting in the backyard with my pets, enjoying the sun and birdsong. I missed having my little dog sleeping on my chest in the afternoon. I missed having nothing urgent or pressing to do. I found myself tired from running around and unable to just enjoy the rhythm of the life I've created, the leisurely way it unfolds.

    My days are filled with walks and the everyday things of life - cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning, gardening, movies on Netflix, reading, playing with my pets (way more playing with pets than cleaning and laundry!), caring for my pets, grooming my pets!, visiting family, thinking up decorating projects that never happen, etc... I volunteer at the animal shelter and organic farm whenever I feel like it, there is no set schedule and I like it that way. I have zero desire to encumber myself with a job when I don't need the money, or commitments when I don't have the desire for them. Does that mean I'm sliding more rapidly into decrepitude? In all honesty, I don't think my friend is any happier than I am. And she's often sick because she pushes herself very hard. I don't want that life. I would rather be happy and boring.

    What is your life's rhythm? Are you happy with it?

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    Last edited by Geila; 2-26-20 at 6:31pm.

  2. #2
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geila View Post
    Now I'm happy being average and living this life that is uniquely mine.
    Your friend has her life and you have yours, and yours sounds perfect.

    I'm kind of happy with my life rhythm. I would like LESS of the "scale" of the rhythm of my song to be devoted to work.

    I recently signed up for a 10 month self-mastery program. I tend to be a cross between your friend and a completely laid-back, "let it be" "it's all cool" kind of person. I joined this program because I am slightly desperate to make my "third act" count--not in any way that society cares about, but more along the lines of the old "deathbed" thing--when I look back on my life, what will I see? When I look back I want to know I've lived my life the way I wanted to. I know I have a lot more to give.

    Richard Rohr wrote a book called Falling Upward which talks about the two halves of life. He talks about how when you are in your second half you can settle into "choiceless choices". I love that, because in my life experience, I know that my most significant decisions were "choiceless choices." So what I want to do focus on what is important to me, and to do it, without any influence from my people-pleasing proclivity or my passivity. I want to be actively engaged in life.

    So, I'm rocking the rhythm, but I want it to be my song.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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    No. I would rather be retired like you are.

  4. #4
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Interesting question!

    I wake up at 5am most days, like the freedom of deciding each day what I am doing beyond the volunteer roles that I chose. I enjoy walking my little dog for long walks every day, swimming in the community pool every other day; read the news and then exploring on the internet for about an hour or two each day. Friends are part of my contacts each day but very little rushing around which I enjoy. My day is slowing down around 9-9:30pm each evening and I'm in bed at 10pm. I suppose that is a rhythm. I do take off and do things spontaneously which is fun and breaks up the routine.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  5. #5
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    I am happy with the way things are. I work a little at home, have plenty of time for dogs, walking, family and fun.

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    I go to work, I go to the gym a few times a week, I come home and sometimes push myself to study work related things in the evening etc. (it's fine not to do that if one is retired, but if one isn't retired and doesn't, well they are unemployable is all, just saying). I do often think I had more time when single, I need that time, but I miss my bf when I don't see him.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  7. #7
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    When I retired last May, I wanted 6 months or so to decompress, and I did. I was thinking about some bigger projects for this year, but then my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and life has revolved around his care, and that of my mother who has dementia. The days that I'm not on duty for care are slow and filled with only the essentials: long sleep, good meals, lots of fresh air and exercise. I see how much of what I previously filled my life with really just isn't that essential. Once my father passes, and my mother is placed in a longer term situation, my life can continue, but it will have a different perspective for sure.

  8. #8
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    It seems like it is pounded into our heads from early on that our value comes from being productive, making money, having lots of social outings, travel etc. For about a year after I retired, DD bugged me with "but what are you doing with all your time" questions. There is a natural rhythm now that involves a class or volunteer work now and then, morning coffee, reading, walks, errands and always gardening when the weather allows. I always enjoyed being domestic (not popular to admit these days) so I spend some time each day planning meals, cooking and keeping a tidy, organized house now. And yet - darn, a certain guilt persists that I should be doing "more".

  9. #9
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geila View Post
    I recently had a conversation with a friend that left me amused. She's a workaholic (in her 70's with no plans to retire) and expressed her concern of me becoming a vegetable because I'm "not doing anything" with my life (in my 50's and retired). I laughed and told her not to worry about me. I'm enjoying my life - I say that's enough for me!~ I've done all the things - the working hard jobs for too many years, the helping others on mission trips and volunteer work, the learning, the growing... I've done it all. When I was growing up I dreamed of being special and doing great things. Now I'm happy being average and living this life that is uniquely mine.

    Last year I joined a group to be more social (you know, cause they keep badgering about social connected people being happier and healthier) and I was out there doing stuff with people, going here and there. And after a couple of months, I missed my life. I missed sitting in the backyard with my pets, enjoying the sun and birdsong. I missed having my little dog sleeping on my chest in the afternoon. I missed having nothing urgent or pressing to do. I found myself tired from running around and unable to just enjoy the rhythm of the life I've created, the leisurely way it unfolds.

    My days are filled with walks and the everyday things of life - cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning, gardening, movies on Netflix, reading, playing with my pets (way more playing with pets than cleaning and laundry!), caring for my pets, grooming my pets!, visiting family, thinking up decorating projects that never happen, etc... I volunteer at the animal shelter and organic farm whenever I feel like it, there is no set schedule and I like it that way. I have zero desire to encumber myself with a job when I don't need the money, or commitments when I don't have the desire for them. Does that mean I'm sliding more rapidly into decrepitude? In all honesty, I don't think my friend is any happier than I am. And she's often sick because she pushes herself very hard. I don't want that life. I would rather be happy and boring.

    What is your life's rhythm? Are you happy with it?

    puppyplaying2.jpg
    Inspiring, Geila!!download.jpg
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Geila's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KayLR View Post
    Inspiring, Geila!!download.jpg
    Love it!

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