I haven't been on here in quite some time. Not sure if I have posted since my husband passed away about a year and 3 months ago. We had a very difficult marriage. I was the one that was the main support in the family. He wasn't very responsible and also had serious health issues for the last 35 yrs. The last few yrs we did heal our relationship but still I have felt bitter at times and went through a horrible grieving process with all kinds of emotions I had stifled for 45 years. We got married at 20, I am 65 now.
His best friend was his best man at our wedding. Unbeknownst to me he had a secret crush on me back then. When I was dating my husband casually I had a crush on his best friend also. Neither of us said anything because of loyalty to my husband. We hooked up on facebook about 10 years ago and became very good friends, kidding around with each other and just having fun.
Then my husband passed away. A year later in Sept. his best friend let me know he was in love with me. I was shocked. And confused. He had never been in a serious relationship over these 45 yrs and never been in love. He said I am the only one he has loved. He has pretty much been alone with very few friends. We click with our personalities.
But he doesn't communicate every day with me. Only a couple times a week and I usually have to initiate it. And that bothers me. If you are in love shouldn't you be talking every day? He just doesn't seem to understand that. He wants me to move to where he is. I am lonely and I do love him and I trust him. But he just isn't a very big talker. I know he loves me, but am I missing something? I told him for now I just want to be friends and I will visit him in a few months to see how we get along. But should I bother going there when he doesn't make an effort to talk to me. Maybe I am too needy. Does anyone have any experience with this situation? I am grateful for any advice I can get. I think I might be looking for a Hallmark movie love and expecting too much. I wonder if him being in his 60's and never married has something to do with not communicating that well. Thank you for enlightening me if you can.