COVID-19 and loneliness

[razz]

Interesting, if not terribly helpful, article in this week's NY:

The History of Loneliness
Until a century or so ago, almost no one lived alone. Now many people endure shutdowns and lockdowns on their own. How did modern life get so lonely?

Interesting article, Oddball; thank you for posting the link.

After the passing of my DH, I have chosen to be solo. Different people suggested that I try online dating but I have found that I can focus on consciously loving life, others and prayerfully thinking and loving the world itself.
I make the effort to meet and greet (with proper physical distancing, of course) others via a smile, a phone call, facetime or other communication.

I was aware of the challenges of lack of community when I moved from the property that DH and I had shared to a nearby home of my own. I chose to stay with a familiar community exchanging support with familiar friend and social networks, known contacts with businesses and professionals and the shared history of location. Moving to be with family would have meant starting to build a community all over again as family members had their own life to live with their own commitments in their own neighbourhoods.

The time may come when I need to move again to a more supportive residential setting and I am aware of that but for the foreseeable future, I will live with my little dog, cuddling/walking him every day and staying in daily touch with family and friends.

[JaneV2.0]

Interesting, if not terribly helpful, article in this week's NY:

The History of Loneliness
Until a century or so ago, almost no one lived alone. Now many people endure shutdowns and lockdowns on their own. How did modern life get so lonely?

I'm sure there are some profound truths expressed , but I found much of it blather:

"People who are not lonely are so terrified of loneliness that they shun the lonely, afraid that the condition might be contagious. And people who are lonely are themselves so horrified by what they are experiencing that they become secretive and self-obsessed—“it produces the sad conviction that nobody else has experienced or ever will sense what they are experiencing or have experienced,” Fromm-Reichmann

I found Bowling Alone tedious, as well. I'm glad I live in a time when the spinster aunt isn't expected to live in a relative's attic or something. Maybe I would survive under those circumstances, but likely not happily.

[razz]

I took time to think about the article further and believe it is not so much about the nuclear family or capitalism but the freedom to finally explore one's possibilities in employment and travel which reduce the usual connectivity of community where one was born, lives, works and dies. I didn't see that sense of freedom considered in the article. One used to be thought unusual if one left home for adventures and opportunities afield. The one cause that was readily understood for leaving one's home was desperation like wars or famine.

[Geila]

I want to thank you guys for your input. I had the talk with my sister, and she received it very well; the last thing in the world she wants to do is make us sick or kill us, after all. I think she has been kind of mentally downplaying the epidemic as a self-defense mechanism since she does have to go to work every day.
I tried to emphasize what we could do - see each other outside when the weather is good with appropriate distancing, talk on the phone more often, text, use FB, etc.
Any other suggestions of how to make her feel supported and loved and not so alone?
Tammy, you must have co-workers who live alone. Do you have any thoughts on this? I feel like those of us sheltering in place with our nearest and dearest have a much better deal here than those living alone. If I was working 12-hour shifts at a hospital during a pandemic, I would really want a hug at the end of the day. I feel terrible that there is nobody to give my sister a hug.

Rosa - I've been really enjoying the Marco Polo app for this purpose, it's a fun little app and very easy to use. It's like video texting and easier because people don't have to video in real time. So for example, you could record lots of little videos for your sister throughout the day and when she gets home tired and alone, she'll have all those little messages waiting for her to cheer her up. I think of them as little video love letters. The messages are saved by default and she can re-watch them anytime. You can also do real time video.

Here's a youtube video on the app explaining what it does and how it works; if you have any questions feel free to message me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ6e_983jXQ

And thank your sister for the rest of us! We are grateful for her service.

[rosarugosa]

Thanks, Geila. I will check it out!

[Teacher Terry]

That’s great news Tybee.

[frugal-one]

Yes, frugal-one, we are in our 60's and it has occurred to us that with food shortages, we may be murdered any day now. Or just beaten up and left to die? Since people seem to be turning on each other.

What is a stupid sign going to do to protect us?

Make them think twice about entering by possibly catching the virus ????? Or it may do nothing at all?? YLMV haha

[Tybee]

We had our first Quaker meeting via zoom today, with our regular meeting getting together on Zoom instead of at the meeting house.
It definitely helps.

[JaneV2.0]

Yes, frugal-one, we are in our 60's and it has occurred to us that with food shortages, we may be murdered any day now. Or just beaten up and left to die? Since people seem to be turning on each other.

What is a stupid sign going to do to protect us?

Do you really believe that?
The thought never crossed my mind.

[Tybee]

Do you really believe that?
The thought never crossed my mind.

I am glad for you!