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Thread: Help—IRA distribution to qualified charity

  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    I think it's great that you do the end of the year financial big picture and that you both are in on all the numbers. That is really good. We do ours more frequently than that but we are in flux trying to work out buying a new piece of real estate and what makes sense for us going forward, as we are trying to accomodate moving to be closer to family but I am unwilling to do that if it means our financial peril.

    One thing to keep in mind is that his inheritance is not technically an "ours" item--it is completely his and his to control and use unless he decides to comingle it with your household money, shared money.

    We definitely have his, hers, and ours money, and it is based on what we brought into the marriage, as it is a second marriage for both, and there are children involved.

    So I am not advocating putting it all into one pot, but I am saying that you have to agree on how you are viewing the monies, and an inheritance is not a joint item unless you choose to make it so.

    Edited to add: maybe what I just said is completely irrelevant to your situation; don't know. My mom was a lawyer and all my life, she grilled into me not to comingle inheritances. She will be 94 this summer and doesn't know my brothers sometimes but she knows what she inherited and that she did not comingle those funds!

  2. #12
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Our “his, hers, and our” money is pretty much defined by the U.S. tax code for individual I.R.A.s and employer retirement account for one person.Those are all” his hers” And the rest of it is “ours.”

    But I do hear you about the family farm inheritance and yes I know that it is his both legally and ethically, but if he dies it becomes part of his estate which is all willed to me, which is why I have some interest in it. I advise him from the sidelines about what he should do about the farm but of course he pays no attention to me ha ha.When I got a smallish inheritance from my mother I spent it on what I wanted, but much of that was for joint home improvements so he benefited.

    I think you have mentioned the “ no commingling inheritance” idea before and I think I did tell DH that, for his own good in case of our divorce. In My ideal world he would sell his share of the farm and put it into a nice safe CD. I suppose that CD could have his name and only his name on it I would be OK with it,I just wanna make sure that that money is around if he dies.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    When we got together I had money and he didn’t due to divorce. Up until a few weeks ago the house was in my name only as it’s my money. I changed that because I wanted him to have the house and then it will go to all our kids 5 ways. There have been many years he out earned me. I am not afraid of divorce. If I die first he could change the will but I trust not only him but my youngest step son that I raised. His oldest brother might try to have him declared incompetent and steal the money and house like he tried with his mom but
    that step son won’t let it happen.

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