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Thread: Birth order of kids?

  1. #11
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    My parents had 4 kids but in two sets. First set four years apart. Second set born starting seven years later and six years apart. So I was one girl out of three boys and my eldest brother is 11 years older than me. He went on to get a PhD in Physics and ultimately became a venture capitalist in the science world, ie he was brilliant. Youngest (my baby brother) was very spoiled and still hadn't figured out how to make a living when he died at 31. It is interesting that with my identical grand-twins that one is clearly the boss. I think there are probably many overarching things that affect children besides birth order - divorce, trauma, development during fetal stage etc. For example, I find it hard to relate to other women sometimes and I think it has to do with never having a sister. I am more comfortable with males.

  2. #12
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post

    When I was 10 Years old I very much resented my brother being born.
    I wonder how common that is. My sister resented me as well. So much so that she ran away from home with the intention of going to live with our favorite aunt. Two hundred miles away in Kansas. She had gotten several blocks, in the right direction, before someone stopped her and brought her home.

  3. #13
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jp1 View Post
    I wonder how common that is. My sister resented me as well. So much so that she ran away from home with the intention of going to live with our favorite aunt. Two hundred miles away in Kansas. She had gotten several blocks, in the right direction, before someone stopped her and brought her home.
    That is a cute story.

  4. #14
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    At age 13 I was so thrilled to get my baby sister. I loved caring for her. She was a premie and required frequent feedings, didn’t sleep much, etc. I didn’t get up with her night, but I did all sorts of caring for her when I was awake. I absolutely loved it.

    It’s funny how differently we react to forced change in our childhood lives.

  5. #15
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I am the "big sister," and 5 years older than my "little sister" (who is actually bigger than me). I was so excited when she was born. My family definitely did something right with this dynamic because I totally shared the excitement that we were having a baby! I tell my sister she is the only person I loved even before she was born! She was born with a cleft lip and palate, so there were lots of early precautions about keeping other kids and germs away, and I was completely onboard with what we needed to do to protect my baby sister. We went through our trials and tribulations as kids and grew apart at certain points in our lives, but we are the best of friends as adults.
    As far as personality traits go, I am somewhat more studious, bossy/decisive, analytical. Sis is more the type who decides with her heart (and these decisions often don't go well), and would give you the shirt off her back. I was the rebel in our teen years and made no secret of any of my bad behaviors: sex & drugs & rock & roll - bring it on! Don't even THINK about trying to tell me what to do!

  6. #16
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    ...I was the rebel in our teen years and made no secret of any of my bad behaviors: sex & drugs & rock & roll - bring it on! Don't even THINK about trying to tell me what to do!
    Haha! Yeah, I share that trait in spades.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    I'm the oldest. My sister came four years after me an my brother four years after her. I have all the first born traits and I'm told I was less than thrilled when my sister came. Although we get along now we didn't jell well as kids. Mom was very harsh on me and my sis was her little buddy. I always got along well with my brother both as children and as adults. We get along great and have the same sense of humor and laugh our asses off. A few years ago my sister and I had a heart to heart (which I had to really lean on her to get) and she told me how much she resented me and my brother. She said she always felt overwhelmed and shut out by us. I was shocked and knew my brother would be too. Neither of us has any negative feelings towards her and our get togethers have always been inclusive. She is a stuffer and has to be beyond miserable before she will advocate for herself.
    My mom was very heavy handed with me. I joke that I spent my childhood under the eye of Sauron. I am pretty driven and consider myself the most successful. Conservative in most my decisions in life but pretty free spirited with my kid because I wanted to give him a different experience than I had. My sister and brother relied heavily on our parents in both child and adulthood for emotional and financial support. Once out of the house I made my own way and maintained my independence. I think that saved me much of the heartache when our family kind of imploded at the end of our parents lives and I ended up taking care of everything. I won't say I was less emotional, just much more capable of putting "the feels" to the side while making difficult decisions and putting them in motion.

  8. #18
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    I think a lot of teachers must have been first borns, ie bossy.

  9. #19
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I was really excited to have a sibling until they arrived.

  10. #20
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    I was really excited to have a sibling until they arrived.
    The screaming toddler tantrums contributed greatly, I suppose, to my lack of interest in reproducing. Now, I think toddlers are funny as hell but only because I’ve lived with bulldogs for decades and the two of them are rather alike. They are both self-centered and manipulative in getting what they want, but they adore you and think you are God.

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