Changing Career Fields

[ApatheticNoMore]

My boyfriend has worked in construction for years (though his is a white collar job). He's never worked in a workplace that isn't dysfunctional, abusive and psychotic in some sense.

I, having only worked only in computer geekery in many industries, observe it in *wonder*. I mean I've worked in abusive workplaces, it's not that I haven't seen that, but it's the exception not the rule for me, he's like never seen NORMAL, has no concept of what a workplace without bullying and abuse is. They'll pick up any weakness and run wit it, everyday at the current job he's watching a coworker get bullied.

So the baseline normal that I understand as normal (though of course if in an abusive workplace I lose track of that too, caught up in the trauma), just isn't there. And again I observe in wonder why every workplace he goes to ends up dysfunctional, while he thinks it's work as such. I don't glorify work as such or imagine it some kind of paradise, but NO, I can only conclude it's the industry. Male dominated yea HECK NO I'm not glorifying that. But I.T. like I do is kind of male? Yea white collar, different universe. My last abusive workplace was female bullying on the manipulative sort, but the things my bf has seen: straight out overt racism in the workplace, chairs being thrown, etc.. And I'm just: jaw drops when I hear it.

[Txbeauty]

My boyfriend has worked in construction for years (though his is a white collar job). He's never worked in a workplace that isn't dysfunctional, abusive and psychotic in some sense.

I, having only worked only in computer geekery in many industries, observe it in *wonder*. I mean I've worked in abusive workplaces, it's not that I haven't seen that, but it's the exception not the rule for me, he's like never seen NORMAL, has no concept of what a workplace without bullying and abuse is. They'll pick up any weakness and run wit it, everyday at the current job he's watching a coworker get bullied.

So the baseline normal that I understand as normal (though of course if in an abusive workplace I lose track of that too, caught up in the trauma), just isn't there. And again I observe in wonder why every workplace he goes to ends up dysfunctional, while he thinks it's work as such. I don't glorify work as such or imagine it some kind of paradise, but NO, I can only conclude it's the industry. Male dominated yea HECK NO I'm not glorifying that. But I.T. is kind of male? Yea white collar, different universe. My last abusive workplace was female bullying on the manipulative sort, but the things my bf has seen: straight out overt racism in the workplace, chairs being thrown, etc.. And I'm just: jaw drops when I hear it.

Holy cow! That is incredible! I have been front row to some abusive, manipulating situations. I hope you have recovered from those things. It can be very stressful and scary.

[Teacher Terry]

Reading this makes me happy to be retired)

[JaneV2.0]

My workplace was an absolute dream compared to what you describe.
There was the occasional kerfuffle, but I was fortunate enough to miss them. We mostly all got along.

[Tybee]

I had a different experience of working in mostly male work environments. There was so much sexual harrassment. My first job working for women, I thought, gosh, this is what it's like to work in an environment where I am respected as a person. It was a whole new take on work itself.

BTW, the healthy work environment was IKEA, and the awful environment was a very upscale lawfirm. I still have nightmares (literally) about that place and working there. The IKEA job was considered demeaning by my ex-husband, who would say to the children, "so your mom still folds towels for a living." It was considered a low-skilled pink collar kind of job.

My "great" job at the lawfirm was the stuff of nightmares.

I think times have changed, for the better.

[Teacher Terry]

All work has value and your ex sounds like a jerk.

[Tybee]

Yes, he was. And yes, it does!
IKEA was actually a fabulous employer. It paid tuition reimbursement, 401k, and I got health insurance, and I worked only 20 hours a week. The health insurance paid massive medical bills, which made my real rate of pay there quite a bit more.