Transparency vs. Facebook Life

[Geila]

Remember folks, I used FB Life metaphorically.

That's why I asked jp1 the question. If the convo was spoken, that's what I mean by being transparent. That one feels comfortable revealing part of ourselves, our lives, with others. Not that you need to jump on FB and post about your hemorrhoids!

[Geila]

No, after watching True Romance years ago I suggested she call me Doggie Daddy, but she declined the offer.

I remember the movie, but not enough to know what Doggie Daddy means. I have an idea that comes to mind...

[catherine]

Remember folks, I used FB Life metaphorically.

That's why I asked jp1 the question. If the convo was spoken, that's what I mean by being transparent. That one feels comfortable revealing part of ourselves, our lives, with others. Not that you need to jump on FB and post about your hemorrhoids!

Oh, I get it. I still feel that any time that I've been kind of transparent it's been like jp1's situation: someone else opened the door. And I usually keep the facts minimal, and I do not include anyone else unless they are relevant to the situation.

[Tybee]

I come from a family of non-sharers, even within the family. So I was always weirded out by FB, which seemed narcissistic, and just like Jane said, a new form of the horrible Christmas letter.
Although we did send a Christmas letter a few times, just to catch up.

[jp1]

Did your professional acquaintance post about his wife's illness on linkedin?

Goodness, no! It happened when we were at the chit chatty beginning of a work related phone call and I asked how his wife was doing.

[jp1]

You make a good point, jp1--that involving others in your trials and tribulations can increase the stress load, depending on your personality. It would for me.

I think everyone is different when it comes to this. For instance when my parents passed away I had no interest in posting about it on facebook. Many of my friends apparently feel differently.

At the other extreme is a friend who is both very emotionally giving, but also very emotionally needy. His mother passed away almost 3 years ago and he still, from time to time, will post on Facebook something to the effect of "Mom, you've been gone 2 years, but I still miss you every day." Of course people click the love button, or post their sympathetic thoughts. While I do occasionally miss my parents, it would in no way make me feel better to post something like that.

[JaneV2.0]

I have an acquaintance who posts a lot of pictures of people and pets who have passed on; they're a rather gloomy sort and I don't understand how that helps anything.

[iris lilies]

I think everyone is different when it comes to this. For instance when my parents passed away I had no interest in posting about it on facebook. Many of my friends apparently feel differently.

At the other extreme is a friend who is both very emotionally giving, but also very emotionally needy. His mother passed away almost 3 years ago and he still, from time to time, will post on Facebook something to the effect of "Mom, you've been gone 2 years, but I still miss you every day." Of course people click the love button, or post their sympathetic thoughts. While I do occasionally miss my parents, it would in no way make me feel better to post something like that.

JP, that’s what I see my sister-in-law doing. Cant see doing that myself.

[jp1]

I have an acquaintance who posts a lot of pictures of people and pets who have passed on; they're a rather gloomy sort and I don't understand how that helps anything.

I can see doing that if it’s an anniversary of their death or Mother’s Day (if it was their mother of course) but on random days. Not me.

I’ve posted pics of my deceased cats Harry and Chris but never in sadness but just remembering how awesome they were.

Come to think of it, I did post about Chris’s death (Harry’s happened in the pre-Facebook world). Maybe the fact that I’m only willing to broadly share my sadness at the passing of a pet but not people is an indicator of how emotionally open I am or something.

[JaneV2.0]

I can see doing that if it’s an anniversary of their death or Mother’s Day (if it was their mother of course) but on random days. Not me.

I’ve posted pics of my deceased cats Harry and Chris but never in sadness but just remembering how awesome they were.

Come to think of it, I did post about Chris’s death (Harry’s happened in the pre-Facebook world). Maybe the fact that I’m only willing to broadly share my sadness at the passing of a pet but not people is an indicator of how emotionally open I am or something.

Peppered here and there is one thing, but 80% gloomy/morbid isn't a good sign, IMO..