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Thread: Transparency vs. Facebook Life

  1. #41
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    Dec 2010
    San Francisco
    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    Peppered here and there is one thing, but 80% gloomy/morbid isn't a good sign, IMO..
    Definitely. Although more and more
    Iím coming to agree with the sentiment that one is as happy as they decide to be. In these crazy times Iím trying to live that idea. Not always successfully...

  2. #42
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Jan 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by jp1 View Post
    Maybe the fact that Iím only willing to broadly share my sadness at the passing of a pet but not people is an indicator of how emotionally open I am or something.
    I did post a little eulogy of my dog when she died 2 years ago. It made me feel better, and I did appreciate the condolences. But I don't post "memory" photos of her, like some do.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    I grew up in family where intimate, vulnerable, painful or just simply emotional topics were pretty much never discussed (when my great grand mother died parents didn't tell me, I found out months later from distant cousin whom I asked if we'll meet at grandma's house during summer vacation). As we grew older me and my sister have quickly learned no to bring up anything like that just to keep peace and as younger children we were just too afraid to do it. It was natural to apply that to all other relationships.
    My mother's default reaction is to be verbally aggressive in situations that make her uncomfortable and then she either quickly abandons the topic and 'punishes' everyone around by not talking to them or resorts to ridicule and humiliation which is hurtful.

    It took me a while to learn to be at least a bit open with people around and I still don't like to talk about problems. And for the sake of my own sanity I am still very closed and guarded around my mother and would never attempt to talk with her about any struggles, feelings or even plans.

    I am consciously making sure to not to replicate that model in my own family life and I am happy that husband and daughters feel free to bring up any topic and are open about what's going on for them.

    Being open outside of close family circle seems absurd to me and oftentimes I am baffled or even embarrassed by what people publicly disclose. Especially on platforms where information can be looked up by colleagues or general public and misused - perhaps not now but years later when we would rather forget what our younger selves did or when situation changes dramatically - it can be uncomfortable or dangerous. Internet has long memory and wiping out your traces is sometimes close to impossible and not to go far for examples right now many people in HongKong are trying hard to get rid of evidence of their believes and opinions. We made sure to teach daughters to be very careful about sharing on social media.

  4. #44
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    meri, I agree with a lot of what you say. I was warned when I was young, be very careful what you put in writing!!! And you are right, once out on the internet, it's there pretty much forever. And sharing outside the family is done cautiously.

    I'm fortunate that I do have a close family (and extended family!) and we share a lot with each other. While we may not share everything, we all know we are there for each other regardless of what struggles or joys are happening. For example, one is dealing with major health issues with spouse and we all ask and help. I couldn't imagine either of these people going through what they are dealing with alone! I'm glad we all share the good, the bad and everything in between.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi

    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. - Dalai Lama

  5. #45
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Mar 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    I did post a little eulogy of my dog when she died 2 years ago. It made me feel better, and I did appreciate the condolences. But I don't post "memory" photos of her, like some do.
    I’ve done something similar. One of the bulldog Facebook sites had a for fun questionnaire about the likes and dislikes and personally of our dog. I filled it out for my deceased dog, mainly because I just wanted people to know him.He was a character.

  6. #46
    Senior Member
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    Aug 2016
    I've been known to use my long lost pals' names as screen names.

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